Some mysteries are easier than others

My left foot is colder than my right foot
I don't know what that means.

I went to a philosopher
He asked if I was sure it was my foot
He asked if I was sure it was cold
He asked if I was sure I was me
I decided to try somewhere else

I went to a doctor
He told me it could be any number of causes
I might have poor circulation
Maybe I had high cholesterol
Or perhaps it was a heart attack
Was the foot tingling, or just cold
I didn't think he could help me

I went to an athlete
He told me to take the cold
One foot at a time
To walk it off
And to have my feet continue to working together
Like a team
I think he had taken too many hits without a helmet
If you know what I mean

I went to an economist
He tried to buy my foot
To leverage its gains against the current market
To make its value increase
I didn't know what he was talking about
But it wasn't helping my foot
So I left

I went to a lawyer
He tried to sue me for asking him the wrong question
He tried to sue my foot for being cold
He tried to sue himself for frivilous law suits
And then he bribed a judge to sentence me to time served
I walked away a free man
But I still had on cold foot

I went to a televangelist
He said that if I believed
(and sent him all of my money)
That he would ask God to heal my foot
(as soon as the cheque cleared)
My Son!
I wondered why God needed my money to warm my foot
I left with my money and a still cold foot

Finally I sat on my bed and despaired
Until I looked down
Hey look, I'm only wearing one sock
I grabbed another sock
And put it on
Now my feet are warm.