More Bond!

You Only Live Twice

The plan is as follows: First, Bond must become Japanese. Second, Bond must train to become ninja - allotted time. A week, give or take. Third, take on a Japanese wife, one with "a face like a pig!" A very sexy pig, apparently. I won't look at pigs the same way. Long Live Bond!

Update: He makes a very tall, white Japanese man!

Update: He killed a ninja. By stabbing him in the hip. But it's okay, the ninja was an imposter. Probably wasn't even a real ninja.

Update: I just found a comic I have where Archie teams up with The Punisher! I'm so excited!

Update: He just blew open a lock and four people heard it. That's not very ninja like, James.

Update: Now three white guys are walking around a facility where there are only Japanese people, and no one noticed. Apparently he is more ninja-like than I thought.

Update: They totally copied Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. I'm so ashamed, they can't even come up with their own villain.

Update: Yay, ninjas!

Update: These ninjas seem to be from the Suicide Squad, as they are all dying.

Update: The ninjas with the guns are being killed, but the guy with the sword is invincible!

Update: In a movie taking place entirely in Japan, and dealing heavily with ninjas, why is the climactic battle between two large white guys?

Update: He blows up a space vessel about ten feet away from another space vessel, and the non-blown up one isn't even rocked a little bit. I love physics!

Update: The End!