The Importance of a Good Breakfast

3. Whatever You Do, Don’t Let the Turtle Drive

James returned a few moments later, carefully cradling the turtle under his arm. Fortunately it had managed to avoid answering the call of nature while it was in his locker. The turtle’s legs were pushing at James’ arm, like it was trying to get away, but he was holding it too tightly to let it escape. He burst into the classroom where he had left Mel and promptly tripped over a desk, narrowly missing slamming into the upturned legs of another. Quickly he jumped to his feet, brushing himself and trying to act casual. “How’s it going?” he asked casually as he sauntered up to Mel. She didn’t reply, instead choosing to remain standing rigidly in the spot he had left her, staring at the dinosaur.
“Charming woman,” came the fish-odour voice from the window.
A shrug. “Odd. Usually she’s good with animals.” James shook her slightly, but she refused to move. “Did she say anything to you at all?”
The purple dinosaur shook its head, or it seemed like he did. It was hard to tell exactly what the dinosaur was thinking. “I believe all she said was, and I quote: ‘squeak, squeak’”
“Squeak.”
“No, my dear. You have previously made that point. It is time to move on.”
“Right.” James was a little worried for Mel, but he was sure she would snap out of it. She was pretty tough. “Anyway, I brought the turtle. You’re not going to eat it, are you?” He held out his hands to show the dinosaur the shelled creature, but noticed that something seemed to be missing. As he gazed down the length of his arms, his empty fingers waved back. The turtle, it seems, was missing.
“Splendid job lad.” The dinosaur was definitely being sarcastic. That seemed to be a clear cross-species trait. “Now, go fetch me the visible turtle.”
Who knew dinosaurs would be so snooty. “I did have a visible turtle. I just seem to have misplaced it.” He looked around, trying to decide where the critter could have disappeared to.
“Perhaps,” replied the dinosaur, “its escape was facilitated by your erstwhile tumble.”
“I didn’t trip. I was testing gravity. You’ll be happy to know that it is as strong today as it was yesterday.” Sullenly, James headed back towards the door to make a thorough search.
“That would be a natural assumption,” came the rumbling voice behind James.
Before he could ask what that meant, he spotted the slothful reptile. It was making a beeline for the door, and frequently looking over its shell as though checking for pursuit. “No you don’t,” spoke James as he scooped it up. “You’re important. Maybe as an appetizer before supper, I’m not sure. He does seem to like sea food.” The turtle looked back at him with seeming terror in its eyes, and James suddenly realised that he was looking at a turtle eye to eye as if it could understand him. On the other hand, he was about to hand it over to a talking dinosaur, so anything was possible.
James managed only a single step back into the room before he ran into a very upset looking woman. “Uh, Mel, you’re in my way.” The room was deathly silent. “Which is okay. If that’s where you want to be, I’m fine with that.”
She snatched the turtle out of his hands. “You are not letting him eat this turtle.” The words were almost visible in the air around them. James nodded silently, swallowing hard. He had not been this terrified in a while. Suddenly the turtle was the most sacred thing he could think of on the planet.
“You’re right. No turtle eating, gotcha.” He looked over her shoulder at the T-rex that was standing patiently at the window. “You weren’t going to eat it, were you?” A nervous laugh died in his throat. “Consider your answer very carefully. I’ve seen this woman upset, and quite frankly, she’d kick your butt.”
Again, the impression of a head shake. “My dear, the turtle is my desired entrée. They are very bitter. But the turtle is important to my plans, as is your friend there. Now let us make haste, we do not have the luxury of time at the moment.”
Just then the sirens that had been sounding louder throughout the entire episode exploded into full fury as they reached the school. It sounded like the entire police force was out to meet the threat. In fact, as James peeked out the window, it looked like most of the city’s police force was there. For the first time in his life, James felt like going somewhere and committing a crime. Instead, he ducked down and crouched on the floor, motioning Mel to follow suit. The turtle wisely decided to retreat into its shell. Now what were they going to do?
Fortunately, the dinosaur seemed well prepared. “I will lead them away. The two of you make your escape and meet me at the old slaughterhouse on the outskirts of town. Do you know the one of which I am speaking?”
James nodded.
The dinosaur waited.
James nodded harder.
The dinosaur sighed.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” James turned red as Mel slapped a hand over her mouth and laughed to herself. “Yes, I know the slaughterhouse. We’ll meet you there. But will this take long? I’ve got an event tonight that I need to go to.”
“Do not fret young man. The time will not be a factor, as least not as you see it. Meet me in one hour. I am away.” With that, the dinosaur bolted away from the window. A volley of shots followed his progress, but he wasn’t slowed down. Soon the sound of his footsteps faded into the distance, as did the sound of sirens as they chased him.
A quick peek over the ledge showed a series of footprints in the concrete, and an empty front lawn, save for a single smashed police cruiser. The officer was standing beside his car, looking forlorn. “Good-bye Edna,” came the lament from the cop. The police were a strange bunch.
James stuffed the turtle into his bag, and the two teens exited the room. The worked their way down the hall, moving as quietly as possible in an effort to escape detection. A voice came from around the corner, not quite loud enough for any words to be understood, but loud enough to cause racing hearts in both of them. They ducked into an open room and flattened themselves against the wall. The voices fell silent, but the sound of footsteps persisted. They came closer before fading into the nearby stairwell. James looked out in time to see a familiar looking shoe ascending the stairs before it disappeared entirely.
Quickly he darted out of the room and down the stairs, Mel close on his heels. A startled looking cow stood mooing in the lobby when they got there, but they were in too much of a hurry to pay it any mind, or to notice how closely it followed their movements, though a part of James briefly wondered if it was the same one he had seen on Mr. Von Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger’s lawn earlier that day, or if he was just imagining the entire thing. A quick dash later they were in Mel’s house, gathering up some food and supplies. “Let’s take your car,” said James. “My mom is home and it would be too hard to explain to her why I was home from school, and why I was going to an old, abandoned slaughterhouse.” He mulled over the idea for a moment. “Heck, I can’t even explain it to myself.”
“Wait, you’re not sure of this? Then why are we going?” Mel’s voice was tinged with hysteria. It had been a stressful morning, and the three cups of espresso that she had consumed that morning weren’t helping with her nerves.
James could tell that he was going to have to calm her down or things could get difficult. “Look,” he started. “Don’t ask me why, but this is important. It’s true, I’m not sure exactly why, but it is.” He pressed on in the face of a sceptical look from Mel. “Okay, you will probably think I’m nuts - actually, I’d be surprised if you didn’t - but this isn’t completely strange for me. You don’t believe me about the cereal, but it’s true. Every time I don’t get my Cheerios in the morning, weird things happen. And, to top it all up, the animals have been acting weird around me lately. The squirrels are following me, I’ve been seeing cows everywhere, and I’m pretty sure Mrs. Horn’er’s cat watches me while I sleep. It’s kind of creepy.
“But all of this seems to be leading me somewhere. The dinosaur was looking for me. He didn’t ask me what my name was, he asked me if I was James. He was looking for me, and me alone. When a talking dinosaur comes to your math class window and asks for you by name, it seems pretty important to listen. There’s more going on here than you or I know. And I can’t do it alone. I need someone I can trust to support me. And that person is you. I’ve known you for longer than I’ve known anyone outside of my family, and I trust you more than I trust them.
“So please, help me.” He looked at her pleadingly, hoping he had convinced her.
A slightly raised eyebrow was the only indication she gave that she had actually heard him. Slowly a wry grin worked its way onto her face. “Be honest,” she said dryly. “You just want someone around that can protect you.”
“Works for me.” James breathed a huge sigh of relief. This really was turning into a strange day.
Forty-five minutes later the two of them sat in her 1965 Thunderbird in the parking lot of the derelict factory. “I don’t see him. Do you?” James was whispering even though there was no one around for miles.
Mel gave him a funny look. “Of course I don’t see him. Do you think a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex could hide? He’ll be kind of obvious.” She started up the car and drove around the back of the plant, getting away from the highway. A space between an abandoned tractor trailer and a wall caught her eye. “I’m pulling in here. I don’t want anything to happen to my car.”
The inside of the plant was even creepier than it had looked from the outside. They had decided to head inside and watch for the dinosaur from there. Time passed in silence as they looked around. Cleanliness did not seem to have been of great importance to the former owners of the building, as there were still parts of dead cattle sitting around. Suddenly a flash of purple caught James’ eye. He looked closer through one of the grimy windows and was surprised to see an eye peering back. “He’s here,” he said softly. “How does he do that?”
“Do what?” Her voice was right at his side, and he jumped and whirled around, frightened out of his wits.
“I was wondering how he snuck up on me like that all the time.” James leaned over and gasped for air. “I guess it’s not hard.”
They ran over to the large bay door and opened it. The dinosaur crept inside and they quickly closed the doors as it settled down as best it could in the cramped quarters. “We don’t have much time,” he began.
“I thought you said time wasn’t going to be a factor, or something like that.” James leaned against his foot, wondering how wise it was to interrupt a giant thunder lizard while standing next to its claws.
The long head full of sharp teeth swung down to look at him. “What I said was time is not going to be a factor, at least as you see it. I am surprised that you have not asked me how I came to be here in your time.”
A surprised look came over James’ face. “Actually, I hadn’t thought of it.”
Mel looked at him incredulously. “You haven’t asked him? I just assumed you already knew and weren’t telling me yet.”
James shrugged. That wasn’t how his mind worked. He had spent most of the day humming the Barney theme song. Why did this dinosaur have to be purple. It was very distracting. “So, how did you get to be here?”
“A wormhole opened up and swallowed me. I have travelled to many different times and places. During my travels it became obvious that you were the key to returning me to my time, and setting things right.”
“Oh.” That sounded way more reasonable than it should have. I must be having a mental break down, he thought to himself. All he could think of to say, though, was: “Say, fish breath. Do you have a name, or should I just call you Rexxie?”
The dinosaur looked down at him. “Call me Gordon.”
“Okay, Gordon. You were swallowed by a wormhole. You’ve travelled in time. How in the name of Mick, Keith, and the rest of the Rolling Stones do I come into play? And Gordon?”
“This is difficult to explain. Perhaps some more detail would be helpful.”
“Please.”
Gordon settled down more comfortably on his haunches. “Dinosaurs are not the crude, dumb creatures you all picture us to be. Our brains may only be the size of walnuts, but they do not operate the same way as your primitive human brains do. Our entire nervous system is a brain in a way that you cannot even imagine. That is not pertinent though, except to say that it means we can talk and understand things as well as, and often better than, humans can.
“The wormhole was a device, I believe, caused by enemies who wish to do us harm. They are causing a gradual decrease in gravity across all times and places in earth. Most people do not notice, but the larger among the dinosaurs have noticed, and we are concerned. I was looking into the source of this gravity decrease when the wormhole opened beneath my feet. I fell in and found myself in a dense jungle that was definitely not my own. Eventually I ended up here.
“As for how you come into play, that is a bit more complicated. You appear to be a chosen one. It is hard to explain unless you can feel it. Your friend seems sceptical, and that is not a surprise, but you are not. You can feel that there is something special about you. It is your destiny to lead a great victory, to stop the enemies from destroying the world and reshaping it as they see fit.
“And Gordon was my father’s name.”
James looked up at Gordon. “Did you know you squint when you talk. I didn’t even know you could squint, but when you get going, your eyes are just like slits on your face. It’s kinda neat.”
A long sigh drifted out of the dinosaur. “Are you even listening?”
“Yes, I’m listening. And you’re right. I do feel it. I thought it was just gas, but what you described seems like a better explanation.”
Suddenly, Mel broke into the conversation from where she had been silently observing. “What does the turtle have to do with any of this?”
“That, my dear girl, must remain a secret for now.” Gordon wiggled his arms in what seemed to be an apologetic manner.
“So, what do we do now?” James straightened up and started pacing around.
A chuckle came from the large creature. “Believe this or no, but I have a machine that I picked up on my travels that allows me to move from time to time. I must warn you, though. The journey is fraught with peril. I will give you one last chance to turn back. Once you enter, you will be committed.”
James glanced at Mel who merely shrugged. “Sure, why not. I’ve been bored lately anyway. Might be nice to have a change of pace.”
The dinosaur backed up, and Mel and James quickly darted to the doors and opened them so he could get out. When they all stood outside, James noticed a vehicle of some sort behind the building. As they approached it, Mel reached into his bag and pulled out the turtle. “We can’t just keep calling her ‘the turtle’. She needs a name. How about Flash?”
James rolled his eyes. “Why don’t we just ask it what it’s name is. Worked on razor tooth over here.” He took the turtle from Mel and looked it square in the eye.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” said Gordon as he opened up the ship.
James ignored him. “What is your name, little guy?”
“MynameisprinceRuddegartheQuickandFerocious-andallwilltrembleatmyfeet-didyouknowyourbagsmellsfunny-itsureisbrightouthereithinksocksareafunnything-doyouhappentohaveanyfliesaroundiamhungry….” The turtle continued to ramble on so fast that it was almost incomprehensible.
“I warned you,” came the slightly miffed voice from inside the ship.
The cow shuddered. So many of his brethren had met their end here, but it was important that he keep a watch on these folks. As the ship disappeared in time, the cow continued monitoring. He knew when they went. Now to report back so they could follow.

Now there’s a twist, a fast talking turtle. Bet I didn’t see that one coming! Where in time are they going to end up? What exactly does the turtle have to do with anything? Will James fulfill his destiny, or will he be too busy thinking about dinner to actually be of any use? What did they bring as their extra supplies? Who is the enemy? These are just a few of the many questions that I ask at the end of the chapter! Actually, come to think of it, they are all of the questions I ask at the end of the chapter. Join us in the next instalment of: The Importance of a Good Breakfast.
Same Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger time, same Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger place!