Another long ramble. But I refuse to apologise!

Earlier this week I was at Safeway, picking up a few things (EGGNOG SEASON IS HERE!!) and I noticed something that, well, I'm not sure what significance to place on it.
As I was paying a woman got into line behind me. She was wearing a nearly scandalously short skirt, knee high boots and a white shirt. Her outfit was one that most would describe as 'sexy' (or skanky depending on your point of view, I suppose). On my way out of the store I noticed another woman. She was dressed in a pair of jeans (they were black), a green sweater and she had a scarf thrown around her neck, as much for fashion as for function I suppose. It was a very conservative outfit.
What got my attention was my reaction to each of these girls. The first girl, um, got my blood flowing. She was definitely attractive, and if I were a different guy I probably would have tried hitting on her. She looked like the kind of girl with whom I would enjoy a one night stand. And that is as far as my thoughts/feelings went on that particular woman. I paid and left and that was that.
The other girl, however, caused a different reaction. I saw her and was immediately curious. I wondered about what kind of food she might be buying, what her tastes were, what she would like and dislike. I had all sorts of questions about her and was interested in knowing who she was. She seemed like the kind of person that I would take home to my parents. Also, she wore glasses and I am constantly amazed at how good glasses usually look on girls (especially compared to how goofy looking I am with glasses)(and without, come to think of it).
So why the different assumptions? If I had to talk about their personalities without knowing anything more about them than I do, I would say that the first girl is a bit of a mean girl, maybe not hugely, but enough to be annoying. She would be uncharitable to others and very self-centred. She would know that she looks good and use that to manipulate others. She would also be completely uninterested in anything worthwhile, more into partying and drinking than being even remotely concerned with the world around her.
The other girl, on the other hand, is a nice girl, willing to help out others. She likes to have fun, but that doesn't necessarily mean getting wasted and screwing everything on two legs. She has plenty of friends, but is willing to meet new people. Sometimes she gets too busy because she has trouble saying no to anyone in need. She doesn't care what Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, or Brittany Spears are doing at any given point, but the whole Middle East thing is a concern to her.
All of that based on about two seconds of observation (not even interaction) on my part. I have the immediate physical reaction to the first girl and an immediate intellectual response to the second girl. The question is why?
Am I a product of the culture? Is my reaction based purely on how women are portrayed in popular media? Would it be a sociological reason? I don't really have an answer to that question. That doesn't really concern me too much, to be honest. It is enough for me to know that my reactions were fairly typical for most guys (though my actual responses might differ from many).
Here is what interests me. There are many women who would be upset to know that just because the one girl was dressed in stereotypically 'sexy' clothes that I had such a reaction and that many men would more overtly 'leer' and ogle. They would find it deplorable, or at the very least annoying. Even the girls who dress like that often seem to be tired of the reactions they get.
That leads me to wonder why women dress like that at all? And more than that, who is to blame for the guy's reaction to such dress? It is not exactly a secret as to how men will react to certain images and styles, so when a woman dresses like that, does she then lose her right to be upset at guys ogling her? If she didn't want that reaction, then she surely shouldn't dress that way. And then the question of those who get mad at guys for ogling other women dressed like that, even when they themselves aren't dressed like that. Should they be upset at the guys or at the girls? And how much blame should guys get for their actions. We really are a gender that is ruled by our eyes and our testosterone. Can we help it if we react to a woman?
Okay, some answers. First, if a woman doesn't want to be leered at, then she shouldn't dress in overly tight or short outfits. Guys will stare, they just will. Not all guys, but most. Dressing provocatively is the woman's choice. There are many ways to be stylin' without being 'sexy' (or skanky). Women who get upset with their guys need to relax, a little. Guys are going to notice, especially when a woman is dressed to evoke a reaction. That doesn't mean he is a bad guy or that he doesn't like you. It's like getting pricked with a pin. Your first reaction is to jerk your hand away, and often to say 'ow' or something. That doesn't mean you are actually hurt or that there is any long lasting problem. It is simply a physical reaction that occurs without thought. Also, I don't think it is necessary to get upset at scantily clad women. They likely are dressed that way because they like the reactions and attention they are getting. They aren't unaware of how people will react. They aren't deluded into thinking that they will be ignored, and they also aren't (generally) out to steal anyone's boyfriend or husband or anything. If you want to be upset about it, be upset with society in general for portraying these images as the norm. More on the later.
This section is directed to the guys. It is okay to notice an attractive woman. It is NOT okay to ogle. The difference between the two is different for each guy, and probably different for each situation. But noticing is normal. The only way not to notice pretty girls is to not look at anyone. Ever. So when a pretty girl goes by, it is okay to have noticed that she was pretty. However, if you start staring at her, then you are going overboard. Honestly, the best course of action many times is to just look away. You don't have to make a point of it by stopping what you are doing and looking at the ceiling until the temptation has passed. Just focus on something else. Also, if you are at a mall (or somewhere) and you are specifically on the lookout for attractive women, I think that is a bad idea. Especially if you are married. That goes from noticing to seeking out, and that is an area where bad things start to happen.
Really, I think it would be best if society in general would stop focussing on stupid things like looks and fashion. I like the Dove soap ad campaign right now, their Campaign for Real Beauty. Physical attributes only go so far, and when their importance is taken too far then people start to get seriously hurt, and that is no good for anyone. If society in general could wrap their heads around that, I think the world would be a better place. Heck, if we could get Hollywood in general to wrap their heads around that it would be a miracle, but freaking awesome!
Now a caveat (or perhaps two). I have heard the arguement that when a woman gets raped, if she was dressed provacatively then she doesn't really have a right to complain. Now this arguement more applies to the college-date-rape type of rape where two people are together and things start to heat up a little and the guy then doesn't stop even if the girl wants him to stop, as opposed to the kidnapping and raping. But as far as I am concerned, that is a terrible arguement because, if for no other reason, then it says that a guy's actions aren't his responsibility, but the responsibility of those around him. Guys, let me make this abundantly clear - YOUR ACTIONS ARE ALL ON YOU! You cannot say that she provoked you into taking advantage of her because she was wearing a really short skirt. If that is true, then you are no better than the dog that goes around humping everything on two, four, or zero legs. And when a dog becomes problematic like that, then he is 'fixed'. Do you want to be 'fixed'? I didn't think so.
I bring that up because I think it is possible to take some of my above arguements and extend them to that conclusion, and I just want to be clear that I have ABSOLUTELY no intention for that to be taken from my post.
Wow, all of this because I wanted some eggnogg.