Who the heck is Eve?

I have worked enough retail to be very patient when I am shopping. Things go wrong, situations arise beyond my control and the poor girl working the till for minimum wage has no power to change anything, so there is no use getting upset at her.
Today (Christmas eve!) I came the closest I've ever come to swearing at another customer.
Here's the scenario: My day started out on a bit of a frustrating note as I got an email (on Christmas eve!) telling me that the gift I ordered almost two weeks ago is out of stock and that my order has been cancelled (on Christmas eve!). So now I have to figure out what to replace that gift with instead.
I then have to go to work (it's still Christmas eve!), and on the way I stop at my other job so I can sneak in (through the front door cuz the store was open)(on Christmas eve!) to find out when I work next week because I forgot to do this before.
I then go across the street to Safeway to buy a deli sandwich and some fruit so I have something to eat for supper, since I am working all day (it is about 11am, Christmas eve!) and would get grumpy if I got too hungry. I get to the store and find that it is very busy, which is not terribly surprising (it is, after all, Christmas eve!). I grab my three things and head to the checkout. As I am standing in line, the debit machines go down.
This is where my customer patience comes in. Though I am in a bit of hurry, I do realise that technology doesn't work (especially on Christmas eve!) and that it is not the store's fault. But they make announcements over the P.A. and at each till that the machines are down and though they are trying their best to correct the problem, right now debit cards and credit cards will not work and that there is an ATM at the front of the store. I don't have any cash on me, so I head to the ATM, getting there before the rush and grabbing my cash. Minor annoyance ($1.50 service charge cuz the machine was not my bank)(also, Christmas eve!), but it happens.
I then go back to the line. I decide to go through the self-service checkout because the line is shorter and it serves two tills instead of one, so hopefully that means I will get out quicker. I am the third person in line, and there are two guys ahead of me with almost nothing to purchase.
The far till comes open, so the first guy in line heads to scan through his stuff. I stand, waiting patiently, listening as the announcement keeps coming that though they are trying their best to fix the problem, it is going slow (likely because it is Christmas eve!) and that the problem is at the bank's end, and 'thank you for your patience'. There are probably four more of these announcements as I wait.
The line is going slower than I anticipated, so I look at the people at the till nearest to the front of the line. They are trying to buy two canteloupes but don't have the PLU (I have no idea what that means, but it does not mean Christmas eve!) and they seem unable to find the product listed in the menu. After fighting with it for a while the light above the till goes red, signalling that the clerk needs to come over and fix the problem by scanning her card or voiding the transaction or something. She is busy at a different till, so after waiting a few seconds the people just walk back into the store. We wait a minute longer, wondering if they're coming back. When it is obvious that they aren't, the man in front of me, who only has a gift card to purchase, steps forward. The clerk arrives just then and resets the scanner so he can buy his card.
He scans and hits the button that says he is done and wants to pay.
AND THEN HE SWIPES HIS CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Understandably, the card does not work. So he tries again. I bite my tongue and take a deep breath. There are two tills, so hopefully the other one will be free soon. I look at it and see the man standing there, looking puzzled.
AND THEN HE ALSO SWIPES HIS CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After they both try this a few times, both machines freeze up and become unresponsive, esentially meaning they cannot be used anymore. And then people behind me get to go before me because I had fruit that is sold by the kg and needs to be weighed, and the woman in charge of the self service tills can only check out people who don't have food that needs to be weighed. I am getting antsy at this point, and my arm is getting tired (and it is Christmas eve!), so I go back to the 12 items or less lane, which is moving slowly, but is moving.
I finally get to put my items on the counter and I'm standing there, waiting for the woman ahead of me to pay. She gets her total...
AND PULLS OUT A DEBIT CARD AND SWIPES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was when I almost swore. At the two guys at the self-service checkout lane. They were still there. I couldn't get too upset at the woman ahead of me - English was obviously not her native language and she was an older woman. But I did have to bite my tongue when, having been told that the credit cards were now fixed and going through, she pulled out a second debit card. I was about two seconds away from offering to pay for her just so I could finally get out of the store (because who wants to be stuck in Safeway on Christmas eve!), but she then pulled out a bag (and yes, it was actually a bag) of cash and paid the $20 for her items.
I finally got out of there about an hour after I went in. To buy three things.
On Christmas eve!