How are you today anyway?
It is interesting to me how little people listen to each other when they first greet each other. Usually the listening only begins one or two sentences in (or, for some people, never). My job at the paint store is technically a retail job, so I am greeting people constantly, and I am amazed at how often I have the following exchange:
ME: Hi there.
THEM: Fine, and you?
ME: How did you answer a question I didn't even ask?
It happened to me at Safeway today - I said hi to the clerk and she replied 'fine, and how are you?' Greeting someone by asking them how they are has become such a trite and mindless thing that people respond to any greeting as though it were said inquiry. And usually the answer (fine) is as meaningless as the question.
I don't know if that is good or bad, but it is interesting.
Also, I just bit my cheek so hard that I punched the fridge. I'm sure it was the fridge's fault somehow.
posted by Pants since 1986 @ 2:34 p.m.
4 comments
4 Comments:
This is one of my pet peeves (not the fridge punching so much, although that bite must've hurt!).
My brother (Daniel) who grew up in Switzerland came over 3 1/2 years ago and noted that "you Canadians [ignoring the fact that he's one too] don't even care about how people actually are, do you?"
I try not to ask "how are you" unless I'm ready for an answer and try not to give superficial answers-which leads to people asking me less often, which is fine with me.
Also, why were you biting your cheek??
um, by the way when I say it's 'fine with me'-it really is. I didn't notice the irony in that word until I posted my comment. hmm.
I've done that before - answered a question that wasn't asked. I usually realize it immediately, and feel like an idiot (thereby proving that I was listening, even if I was actually expecting something different than what was actually said.)
I do find it amusing, but it doesn't bother me too much. I view it in the same vein as "What's up?" "Nothing." They are more of a conversation starter than actual questions. If the answer is anything other than "fine", then I can pursue that answer (although it can be awkward sometimes). If the answer is fine, then I can still use it as a springboard to ask more specific questions about what is happening. Or just move in a completely different direction, assuming that they are telling the truth.
Can it be a meaningless question and phrase that we hide behind? Sure. And that's not necessarily bad (do you really want to tell the guy at the paint store how you're doing anyway?) On the other hand, if asked by the right person and answered honestly, it can lead to some meaningful conversation.
That's my thoughts.
By the way, is your computer beside your fridge? Or were you walking around while typing this? Or what?
Agreed, you don't need to go into deep conversation with the guy at the retail store, my frustration is with people you're genuinely friends with-or who have just seen you get really upset about something and then just 'switch it off'.
It goes back to our rides to church when I was a teen, we would fight the whole way and as dad opened the door he would say "OKAY, NOW" and that was his way of saying "don't let anyone know that something is wrong, put on your Sunday face". I would storm into church, find my nearest friend, get a hug and spill the beans.
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