The Importance of a Good Breakfast

8. Mystery, shrouded in questions, covered in a light chocolaty coating

Crick. Crack. Crock. Cruck. James’ back played this minor symphony as he walked. Apparently, a bed of hay wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. It was amazing how sore one night in a stable could make a person. During the middle of the night, he had snuck over to Frankenmule’s stall and made some peace with her, offering her an apple and some straw that he had found. It seemed to have worked, as evidenced by the fact that she had broken out of her stall after he went back to sleep and only kicked him once. Around four o’clock in the morning, he had given up on trying to sleep and arose from where he lay. The donkey gave him a funny look before falling instantly asleep again. He wandered around the stable, which was rather large. A wagon sat in the corner, all four wheels missing, in obvious need of repair. He found a host of saddles and bridles and other riding implements. Bales of fresh straw for feed and bedding sat in the corner. There were about ten horses housed there that night, plus Frankenmule. The other servants were sleeping in small cots in the upstairs level of the stable. James wandered outside and clambered onto the roof, where he spent the rest of the night gazing at the stars, trying to figure out exactly what was going. His life had seemed so simple yesterday. A yesterday that wasn’t going to happen for another few hundred years. Now he was on the run from an evil Tyrannosaurus Rex that could talk, with a talking turtle and one of his best friends. The thought that he could die because of this never really entered his mind. All his life things had happened to him that hadn’t made much sense, but he had always come out relatively unscathed. This just seemed to be one of those times.
Now, a few hours later, James was walking around outside of town. There was a farm only a mile away, and he wandered over that way, intent on trying to get some information from people. He reached the farm and leaned against the fence, looking into the yard at the cows that were grazing there. One of them mooed loudly and went running off. The rest of the cows ignored her.
The cow had been surprised when she looked up and saw her primary target standing right there, looking at her. She had dropped her cud and ran off, mooing excitedly. After last night’s debacle, it would be good to report that she had found him today. Ten minutes later, she remembered that her radio equipment was hidden the other way. She turned around and started running, still mooing excitedly. Fifteen minutes later, she stopped and looked around. With no noticeable landmarks, and a dearth of knowledge about the lay of the land, she had managed to get herself completely lost. With a sigh, she stopped and went back to munching on grass. They’d find her eventually.
One of the men who worked the farm came out of the house and headed over to James. “Good day,” he called out in a friendly voice, lifting a hand in greeting. “What brings our mysterious and clumsy visitor to this farm at this hour?” He rested casually against a fencepost next to James, looking him over with a practiced eye.
“My lady,” replied James easily, “has sent me out to try and find information, specifically about any items that may have recently found their way into the town. You see, a few nights ago, some thieves came to town and stole many items from our farm, including a wagon, some horses and several heads of cattle. And my cat. We were wondering if anyone had come through here recently trying to sell such items.” James was pleased with himself. Even to him the lie sounded convincing, and convincing lying was something at which he had never excelled. His mom especially could sniff out a lie from him at several hundred paces.
The farmhand shrugged his shoulders. “I have not seen anything suspicious come through the town in recent days.” His eyes grew hard. “Except perhaps for you and your lady.”
This caused James to start. Apparently he wasn’t quite as smooth as he thought. Which, come to think of it, was what the ladies invariably seemed to think. He stammered a bit, trying to respond but unsure of what to say. “Wh..whh..what do you mean?” he managed eventually.
The farmhand (we’ll call him Earl)(his name is actually Jack, but I like Earl better) smiled suddenly. “Relax. I was simply kidding, a jest and nothing more.” Earl (Jack) held out his hand for James to grasp. “Though I don’t know of anything about what you speak of, I will gladly show you around the farm while one of the farmer’s daughters inquires for you.” He shook James’ hand warmly, and then turned towards the house where a pair of young women were standing on the porch, watching this exchange. “Giselle,” he called out to the older of the two. “If you would be so kind, my lady, to inquire of your father whether there have been any suspicious visitors or items around town as of late.”
Giselle nodded and went inside, pulling her sister along. While they waited, they walked around the farm, Earl (Jack) giving James the grand tour. “This is probably the largest town in the entire state. My employer, John Thompson, is primarily a grain farmer, supplying large amounts of wheat and other crops to the surrounding area. He keeps some heads of cattle, but only enough to feed his family and trade some of the meat for goods in town.”
“Your employer?” James was surprised at the use of that particular word. “You mean you are not a servant?”
Jack (Earl) merely laughed. “No, I am no servant. I am merely a man trying to make his way west. I came here last summer, and needed a place to stay and make some money to provide my way to my own land. Mr. Thompson was kind enough to let me work for him. It is a rather nice place, and I will miss it when I leave.” He stood, gazing fondly at the large barn that looked as though it were fairly new. Abruptly, he turned to his guest. “Where was it that you said you were from?”
Fortunately for James, Giselle chose that moment to come up to them with an answer to Jack/Earl’s inquiry. “My father,” she said breathlessly, having just run from the house to the barn, “says that there has been no one in town for the past two weeks.”
James turned to her, feeling dismayed. “No one at all?” Something seemed amiss, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on the problem. “If nothing new is in town,” he muttered under his breath, “then what is that blasted turtle talking about?”
Giselle looked at him quizzically. “What turtle?”
“The one that told us to look here.” After he said this, James realised what exactly he had been saying, and his heart sank. Now there was going to be trouble. While he was trying to come up with an excuse, Giselle laughed.
“They told me you were a rather odd servant. I see that they were not lying to me.” She grabbed James by the arm and led him away from the barn towards the house. “Jack (Earl),” she said over her shoulder. “My father says that you are to go round up the cattle. He saw some wandering towards the Johnson land, and you know how they get.” With that, they walked away, ignoring the fierce glaring that the farmhand was directing towards their backs. He knew something was going on, but he wasn’t sure what.
James and Giselle walked towards the house in silence, until James felt Earl (Jack) walk away. “Thank you for the information,” he said, his head still whirling. “I shall have to convey it to my lady right away. It appears we are on the wrong track.” He tried to free his arm, but Giselle wouldn’t let it go.
“Be careful,” she whispered to him. “Everything is not as it seems here. That man you were just with was leading you to the barn in order to beat some information out of you. Some things have happened in town that are not quite normal.” Her gaze was intense, a touch of fear colouring her words. “One week ago, a wagon appeared in the stable, without wheels. No one knows where it came from or who put it there. It has scared some people in town who have claimed to have seen cows mysteriously appearing and disappearing, not to mention talking turtles. I don’t know why, but it seems like you will be able to correct all that has gone on.” With that, she released his arm and ran into the house without a backwards glance.
Spooked, James hurried back into town, hoping that Mel was still all right. He never should have left her alone. Especially when there was a giant purple talking dinosaur on the loose. What a bizarre day.
A pair of cows gazed dully at James as he walked away. They went back to their grass, chewing contentedly. They had never seen him before, nor did they care. They had lived at that farm their whole lives.
Wrong cows.
Another pair of cows watched James intently. The target was moving out quickly. It seems that he had some information that had excited him. This bore watching. They tried to moved, but stopped after a couple steps. The new tattoos that had been forcibly given to them earlier in the day still hurt. The target could wait.

Will James find the missing time machine? Is Mel okay? Is it fair that she didn’t even appear in this chapter? Will Astroboy ever make a glorious come back, possibly on the big screen? Probably not. But rest assured, things will really begin to heat up in the next instalment of:
The Importance of a Good Breakfast.
Same Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger time, same Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger place!