The Importance of a Good Breakfast
7. New Plot Holes Emerge
A large cart was at the side of the road, one tire completely flat on one side. Two young men struggled with a replacement wheel, slipping in the muddy street, a consequence of a rainy night. The sun peeked out from behind a cloud, wishing it could help but unable to bring its full force to bear. This was probably Mercury’s fault somehow, but how was still a mystery. James shaded his eyes and watched the youth for a moment before ambling over to give them a hand, even though he had no concept of how to fix, given that he had never seen an actual wagon before. Mel watched him, a hand clamped firmly over Ruds’ mouth. Muffled squeaks managed to escape now and them, but they went largely unheard by anyone.
John Blacksmith, the town’s baker, was showing them around, obviously enchanted by Mel’s beauty. The town was small, basically one street with shops on either side, along with a saloon, a church, and a church at either end. They watched as James got down and tried to lift the new wheel into place. A moment later, he picked himself gingerly off the ground, covered in mud, and grinned sheepishly. More carefully, he tried again, this time managing to get the wheel off the ground before slipping and finding himself pinned to the ground by the same wheel he was trying to lift. Once everyone had enjoyed a hearty laugh, he was helped up, and with the assistance of two of the other boys they managed to get the wheel in place. And then the other three wheels fell off. James muttered a very unladylike word and stared at the wagon.
“This here,” continued John, “is my bakery. I am the finest baker in the entire state, bar none.” He led the young woman inside and they were greeted by the warm scent of fresh bread and cinnamon buns. A flour covered woman came out from the back when she heard the tinkle of the bell that was above the door. She was as thin as a rake, but very pleasant looking. She had her hair up in a bun to keep it out of her face as she helped with the baking that was always going on. She smiled at her husband, and raised an eyebrow, curious as to why he would be bringing a young woman home with him. For his part, he simply rolled his eyes and motioned Mel to wait by the door. He then went over to his wife and they disappeared into the back room where they had a discussion. A loud one.
Mel was grateful to have a moment alone with Ruds, who was still squeaking away in her arms. She raised him up to eye level and stared at him until he stopped trying to speak. “You cannot speak around these people. Just because we’ve managed to unlock your tongue doesn’t mean that everyone is going to be so accepting of your ability to speak. If the people of this town found out that you could speak, they would burn me as a witch, you as a witch, and likely James as a witch. Although, they may end up burning him anyway.” She sighed as she noticed James running down the street chasing after a bridled donkey. A moment later he ran the other way, the donkey close on his heels. Was it possible for him to do anything quietly? Returning her attention to the turtle in front of her, she asked him a question. “What does this time machine look like? And keep your answer short.”
“Awagon.” Ruds looked up at her with large eyes.
Mel didn’t respond at first, and then started, as though she had been surprised. And she had been. The fact that Ruds had held himself to two words was a shock. It was the least she had heard him say. In fact, before she had managed to gather her wits about her, the baker and his wife returned to the front. They smiled pleasantly at her, in unison, and didn’t say anything for a moment.
Finally, John broke the silence. “I would like to introduce to you my wife, Mary.” Mary curtsied as her husband continued. “We have decided that it would be best if you stayed here tonight in our extra room.”
Just then James burst through the door and slammed it shut behind him, leaning on it heavily. Soon, a regular thumping started to beat on the door. James smiled weakly. “Um…everything is ok here. Please carry on.”
“And my servant,” asked Mel pleasantly. “Shall he have some sort of lodging as well?”
Mary came around the counter and took Mel’s arm, leading her towards the back. “He can share a spot in the stable with some of the other servants. It is mostly dry there.”
The thumping against the door started to get louder. James turned around and looked out of the door at the donkey as it beat its head against the door, trying to get in. “Oh great,” he muttered to himself. “I get to spend the night with Frankenmule.” He sighed and turned to the baker who was still standing behind the counter, watching him curiously. James shrugged. “Who knew she’d be so sensitive about being called an ass.” This was met with silence. “Um,” continued James, “would it be all right if I used your back door? This might end badly otherwise.”
John nodded and waved him through, though he did watch the young man closely as he wandered through the back of the bakery, almost as though he excepted James to steal something. James rolled his eyes to himself and wandered down the back lane. There was nothing more for him to do but to wait for Mel to work her magic. As for him, hopefully the straw was at least clean. Or moderately so anyway.
He didn’t notice the cow ambling along behind him. He also didn’t notice the cow on the roof of the bakery watching him with a scope. Or the cow at the top of the hill. Or the cow at the end of the lane peaking around the corner. Or the cow with the walkie-talkie on the side of the nearby hill. James, it seems was rather self-absorbed. The cows, on the other hand, were very alert. This time there would be no mix ups. A moment later, all five cows fell asleep, letting James wander right by. Apparently time travel makes bovines sleepy.
John Blacksmith, the town’s baker, was showing them around, obviously enchanted by Mel’s beauty. The town was small, basically one street with shops on either side, along with a saloon, a church, and a church at either end. They watched as James got down and tried to lift the new wheel into place. A moment later, he picked himself gingerly off the ground, covered in mud, and grinned sheepishly. More carefully, he tried again, this time managing to get the wheel off the ground before slipping and finding himself pinned to the ground by the same wheel he was trying to lift. Once everyone had enjoyed a hearty laugh, he was helped up, and with the assistance of two of the other boys they managed to get the wheel in place. And then the other three wheels fell off. James muttered a very unladylike word and stared at the wagon.
“This here,” continued John, “is my bakery. I am the finest baker in the entire state, bar none.” He led the young woman inside and they were greeted by the warm scent of fresh bread and cinnamon buns. A flour covered woman came out from the back when she heard the tinkle of the bell that was above the door. She was as thin as a rake, but very pleasant looking. She had her hair up in a bun to keep it out of her face as she helped with the baking that was always going on. She smiled at her husband, and raised an eyebrow, curious as to why he would be bringing a young woman home with him. For his part, he simply rolled his eyes and motioned Mel to wait by the door. He then went over to his wife and they disappeared into the back room where they had a discussion. A loud one.
Mel was grateful to have a moment alone with Ruds, who was still squeaking away in her arms. She raised him up to eye level and stared at him until he stopped trying to speak. “You cannot speak around these people. Just because we’ve managed to unlock your tongue doesn’t mean that everyone is going to be so accepting of your ability to speak. If the people of this town found out that you could speak, they would burn me as a witch, you as a witch, and likely James as a witch. Although, they may end up burning him anyway.” She sighed as she noticed James running down the street chasing after a bridled donkey. A moment later he ran the other way, the donkey close on his heels. Was it possible for him to do anything quietly? Returning her attention to the turtle in front of her, she asked him a question. “What does this time machine look like? And keep your answer short.”
“Awagon.” Ruds looked up at her with large eyes.
Mel didn’t respond at first, and then started, as though she had been surprised. And she had been. The fact that Ruds had held himself to two words was a shock. It was the least she had heard him say. In fact, before she had managed to gather her wits about her, the baker and his wife returned to the front. They smiled pleasantly at her, in unison, and didn’t say anything for a moment.
Finally, John broke the silence. “I would like to introduce to you my wife, Mary.” Mary curtsied as her husband continued. “We have decided that it would be best if you stayed here tonight in our extra room.”
Just then James burst through the door and slammed it shut behind him, leaning on it heavily. Soon, a regular thumping started to beat on the door. James smiled weakly. “Um…everything is ok here. Please carry on.”
“And my servant,” asked Mel pleasantly. “Shall he have some sort of lodging as well?”
Mary came around the counter and took Mel’s arm, leading her towards the back. “He can share a spot in the stable with some of the other servants. It is mostly dry there.”
The thumping against the door started to get louder. James turned around and looked out of the door at the donkey as it beat its head against the door, trying to get in. “Oh great,” he muttered to himself. “I get to spend the night with Frankenmule.” He sighed and turned to the baker who was still standing behind the counter, watching him curiously. James shrugged. “Who knew she’d be so sensitive about being called an ass.” This was met with silence. “Um,” continued James, “would it be all right if I used your back door? This might end badly otherwise.”
John nodded and waved him through, though he did watch the young man closely as he wandered through the back of the bakery, almost as though he excepted James to steal something. James rolled his eyes to himself and wandered down the back lane. There was nothing more for him to do but to wait for Mel to work her magic. As for him, hopefully the straw was at least clean. Or moderately so anyway.
He didn’t notice the cow ambling along behind him. He also didn’t notice the cow on the roof of the bakery watching him with a scope. Or the cow at the top of the hill. Or the cow at the end of the lane peaking around the corner. Or the cow with the walkie-talkie on the side of the nearby hill. James, it seems was rather self-absorbed. The cows, on the other hand, were very alert. This time there would be no mix ups. A moment later, all five cows fell asleep, letting James wander right by. Apparently time travel makes bovines sleepy.
Wow, things are really starting to heat up. Will the madcap action never end? Can James survive a night in the barn with the crazy mule? Will the town survive a night with James? Would narcoleptic bovines be an awesome rock band name? Find out in the next instalment of:The Importance of a Good Breakfast.
Same Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger time, same Schlakenheisermandervorsonovichenburger place!
posted by Pants since 1986 @ 9:28 a.m.
1 comments
1 Comments:
See reading this one - hot off the press! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! Now I want a cinnamon bun! Although I looked like the Queen of every thing having dinner brought to me in my meeting! You're awesome! I loved meeting the other mother...totally we are so very similar! It even amazed me... I wich that we all went out for lunch - I was going to suggest it but I had out of town company too. Next time -- for sure!!
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