I'm too young for a midlife crisis!

I rarely feel as inadequate as I do when there is a girl around, especially a pretty one. It’s not just a matter of being flustered or tongue-tied, though I have to admit that that happens from time to time. Actually it’s pretty common. But that is only part of what gets me.
There are times when I wished I was more, well, typical for my age. Most guys my age tend to be able to date women regularly, always on the lookout for a woman, or in a relationship or sometimes both at the same time. But I can’t be just like that because most of those guys are mostly concerned with sex, especially the non-christian ones. I don’t want to be someone who is ‘good with the ladies’ but is unwilling to commit or be concerned with more serious matters. When I think about it, what I really want is to be able to fill a woman’s needs and all of that good stuff.
That is where the problem comes in. I usually feel like any woman that I like probably deserves better. There are some who are able to say, as Paul does in one of his epistles, that to be single is better, but I am not one of those. I just don’t think that I am meant to be alone in that (or any) way in my life. Deep inside of me, though, I have trouble believing that I am worthy of any of the woman that I meet. I want to be the type of man in which a woman can find complete comfort, can feel safe. I want to be a man that protects and completely takes care of his wife. And not in a way that is demeaning and oppressive, but in a Godly, Biblical way.
There is always talk about how much pressure is on women, but the truth is guys are under pressure all the time too. I don’t have a stunning physique, I’m no athlete. I am not particularly strong, and fixing things doesn’t necessarily come naturally to me. I like cars, but I can only do basic repairs on my own. I am not exactly the most forward person, I’m a quiet guy in many ways, leaning towards the shy side. I don’t have a strong personality, I don’t carry the conversation. Basically, I am nothing like the ‘ideal man’ that is portrayed in the media. Now granted, there is more freedom for me to be a pudgy moron, but that usually comes from sitcoms, and I try not to build my self-image on that because those guys are really, really, really dumb.
But when I see what a guy is ‘supposed’ to be, I just don’t match up. Don’t get me wrong, I am smart enough to know that I can only be the man God made me to be (except I could probably get myself into better shape). So how could a mild-mannered guy like me ever find a woman willing to like him, let alone ever love him?
And for just a bit more added pressure, I hear many women talk about the ‘list of needs’ they have that their ‘ideal man’ must meet. Suddenly I am fighting against an unknown set of qualifications and that makes me quite self-conscious and uncertain. It makes any interaction with a woman feel like a job interview.
Which brings me back to my main point, namely that I feel inadequate around women. I guess it is like I am only able to be a friend, that goofy guy that can make them laugh or carry heavy(ish) stuff. I try to be polite and friendly, to open doors and to take on a little more responsibility so that they can have an easier time, but not act like they can’t do anything for themselves. But how can I ever be more than that? When it really comes down to it I don’t feel that any woman would find the particular abilities and interests that I have to be worthwhile.
Now you are all probably wondering where this is coming from, what the catalyst for such a topic would be. Truth be told, there isn’t really a major reason for it to be coming up right now (which means, just so I am clear, that I do not have a ‘crush’ on anyone here)(Peter doesn’t believe me, but that’s okay)(he’s been wrong before). There are many attractive, single, young women (I don’t mean the students!) here and so the thought is on my mind. I grew up thinking that I would marry young, as my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and older brothers did. To find myself not even dating when I am 26 (ancient, I know) is a reality I never thought I would experience, and there are times when I feel like I have failed. The funny thing is I have spent most of my time in a Christian community of one kind or another, and that makes it even worse. It seems like most young Christian guys are expected to date and marry, and there is a great deal of pressure put on us, most of it unintentional and subtle. Everything seems geared towards making sure we are finding ‘the One!’ (Tired of the dating scene?, asks the church bulletin, then come to this weeks singles night, where you can meet other young singles like yourself!). I am caught in a quandary because I don’t want to live my life in a desperate search for a mate, so hearing from within the church that as a single guy I should be trying to do just such a thing is hard to hear all the time. But at the same time, so many of the young christian males that I know are in relationships, the kind that are based on more than mutual physical attraction and fun, and if they can do it, why can’t I? I wonder if there is something wrong with me. It’s enough to give a guy a complex.
I guess that is all I have to say on this. I am not looking for a solution (and don’t you dare try to tell me that I just haven’t met “the One” yet, I will bop you on the nose), I just felt like venting. Maybe I just want you to be gentle with your single friends, let them live their life and don’t pressure them, for goodness sake. They have enough of that without your help.