Merry Gassy Christmas

I have been finding some ads for Esso interesting lately. With Christmas being around the corner, every retail business is advertising their Christmas deals and specials, and Esso is no exception. But it is an odd business to be advertising Christmas deals because they mostly sell gas and snacks, neither of which make great gifts. I can just imagine opening a gift Christmas morning only to find a gallon of gas, and being so surprised and pleased that the cigarette dangling from my lips* would fall into the can, setting off the fumes and everyone gets to see a wonderful Christmas fireworks show.
But essentially that is what they are advertising. Technically, they are advertising Esso gift cards, but to hear them talk about them in the commercials, you would think they were selling solid gold gas caps or a majority stake in Doritos or something. If you go buy the hype and excitement evident in the ads, then Esso gift cards are the perfect gift for anyone. Plus, they are 'collector's editions with hockey designs'. You can collect all three...? What is the point of collecting gift cards? Don't you just use them? What are you going to do, put them in sleeves and sell them later. "I'll trade you these three Esso hockey gift cards for you Wayne Gretzky rookie card!" "I don't know, that's not a fair trade. I will give you my Bobby Orr rookie card as well."
Sometimes I wonder what aliens would think if they came down and saw all of this Christmas stuff.
Anyway, I updated Grasp the Nettle. I am nearing the end of Thunderfunk the Superchicken, so be sure to watch over the next few weeks to see the exciting conclusion!


*Just joking, kids. I don't smoke. Smoking is gross. Say nope to dope and ugh to drugs!