We're all equal, but some are just more equal.

I had an interesting experience at work today. My last table of the night was a married couple that also happened to be completely deaf. In the years that I have been working in restaurants, that is the first time that I have actually dealt with a completely deaf table. It brought to my attention a tendency that I have that I'm not sure I completely like. Whenever I'm with a minority, I become extremely paranoid, and I'm not sure how to act.
This paranoia is a direct fallout of the "politically correct" times that seem to have been thrust upon us in recent years. I don't know how to deal with certain groups of people because I don't want to offend them, so I start analyzing everything I do. For example, as I was doing my duties at work, I walked by my table of "hearing impaired" people and I glanced at the table to see if they needed anything and then carried on. I didn't even slow down as I walked past because they were eating and their drinks were full and I had already checked on them, so I had no reason to stop. And it's not like I could talk to them, at least not very easily. Yet, as I passed them, I started to worry. Did it look like I was deliberately ignoring them? Were they going to think that I was looking down on them or being rude because they were deaf? Did they think that I was bigotted somehow?
The real dilemna is this: If I had stopped and checked on them and seen how they were doing, I would have worried that they were going to assume that I was treating them like invalids because they were deaf. There was literally no way I could have handled them without worrying that I was treating them poorly becauase they are deaf. It's worse when someone has a physical disability, such as being in a wheelchair. I'm someone who likes to help, so I want to do things for people, but when I see someone in a wheelchair, I feel completely paralyzed because I don't want a person to assume that I think they can't function on their own because I opened the door for them. So rather than being helpful, I'm just uncomfortable.
I hate how this has come to be. When I see someone who is in a wheelchair, or is of a different ethnicity, I really don't want to treat them any different. As far as I'm concerned gender, religion, ethnicity, skin colour and ability make no difference. Everyone deserves to be treated well. However, the world seems to have become so sensitive that I don't know how to treat someone because I'm not sure what is offensive. Is it wrong to call "African Americans" black? I don't mean anything offensive when I say it, but is it a term that is just going to be taken as offensive? Can I call a person in a wheelchair "disabled", or is it supposed to be "differently abled"?
Seriously, this is becoming a real problem. Especially since there are people out there who are only too willing to play the race card (or disability card, or whatever). We had a table at work that was a very difficult table (they made one of the waitresses cry, were very demanding, and were blatantly checking out one of the other servers up to the point of asking for his phone number). Even though we gave them the best service that we possibly could, they still called one of the other Chili's in the city and accused us of being racist. Then they came in a couple days later, and lucky me, I got to serve them. I spent every moment that they were in the restaurant walking on eggshells. I made sure that I treated them like visiting royalty, simply because I did not want anything to be misinterpreted as racism. Fortunately for me they were much more sedate this time around. They even tipped me really well, especially considering the fact that their entire meal was on the house. All of that to say that the world is becoming too sensitive. I understand that there are people out there who are racist/bigotted/any other similar adjective. But it seems like that is the first thing people assume. Once again, the pendulum has swung too far to the wrong side. Everyone should be equal, but it seems like "minorities" have to be more equal because otherwise they are being discriminated against. One of the worst bits of legislation to come around in the past many years is the equal opportunity hiring policies. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with "minorities" getting an equal chance at a job. I am saying that there are times when it is not an equal chance because less qualified people are hired for jobs simply because of their skin colour. On the other hand, there are still employers out there that probably would only hire white guys if they could get away with it, so it is not all bad. It's just unfortunate that we have to legislate fairness, because that is an extremely hard thing to acurately enforce.
I think I've been lucky in this regard, though. I've never had to deal with any sort of accusation in this area. I guess I've done all right in treating people as good as or better than they deserve. Actually, I'm a little nervous about even posting this, even though I don't think I've said anything offensive (or at least, anything that I wouldn't defend by explaining myself better if need be). The fact of the matter is I'm a young white male Christian from a middle class family. I'm about as majority as it gets. Heck, I'm in the only group that can be mocked openly without any worry about repercussions.
I guess in the end, I'll just have to keep trying to be fair to everyone and let my actions speak for themselves. If anyone wants to have a problem with that, then I pity the bitter existence that they would seem to have taken for themselves.
Ciao