Sunday, April 29, 2007

Fools Of Us All - Chapter 13 (See April 1)

It has always amazed me at how some pain is familiar. Something happens at one point in your life, and then it happens again, maybe not for days, weeks, even years, and yet as soon as it happens your body tells you that this is familiar, this is known, you have felt this before and survived. There is almost a comfort to it. Maybe it is a natural coping mechanism, something that your body does to help get through pain, to make survival that little bit easier. I don't know.
All of that being said, it still hurt. I gasped loudly as we rematerialized, the pain of our passage through time echoing on every nerve in my body. I barely had time to see Spin's wide eyes before a massive explosion ocurred behind us, throwing me from my knees to flat on my stomach, heat washing over me, singing the tips of my hair. I knew that surprise and chaos could only work for us for a short time so I wordlessly pushed myself to my feet and grabbed Spin's arm, trying to get him to rise as well. It took a moment but he finally shook off the shock of time passage and rose unsteadily to his feet.
I glanced around to get my bearings. We were back in the warehouse and to my relief no one had repaired the massive hole in the side. Probably they had just thrown up a holo-imager to make the building look secure until they could get a refab team in to make the building whole once again.
I grabbed Spin's hand and yanked him forward, heading straight for the opening. We had only run a few steps when he suddenly pulled on my arm, dragging us to a stop. I looked back and he wordlessly pointed to the edges of the hole. I swore and ducked behind a container. In my eagerness to escape I had failed to notice the a group of uniformed men standing on either side, weapons drawn. Damn, why did they have to actually be well trained for once.
My mind raced. How were we going to escape now? I didn't know the building very well, except for...
We had been back in the warehouse for no more than ten seconds at this point. Due to the explosion there was mass confusion. A quick look around showed me a few things. At various exit points around the building were some highly disciplined M.E.R.C. troops who had remained on station despite everything. The time machine was still sitting where it had been, thankfully intact as near as I could tell. The door to Amanda Brun's command room high above the floor was flung open and a man in a general's uniform was stepping out, looking wild-eyed. Someone of lower rank but obviously steadier nerves stepped out beside him and pulled the general back into the room. The aide paused for a moment to survey the situation. His eyes met mine briefly and even across the expanse between us I could see the hint of a cold smile cross his lips. I knew we had to move now.
I leaned in close to Spin. "I need to create another diversion," I said hurriedly. "When I say you rush towards that door there." I pointed at an unguarded door. "It leads to the medical facilities. Go into the third room on the left, I'll join you as soon as I can."
He looked at the open floor between him and the door and sighed. "Be careful," was all he said.
At least he was willing to go along without knowing the plan. That was helpful. "Okay, go!" At the same time I dove out to a roll and came up running, hoping that everyone would still be too concerned with the fire that had resulted from the explosion to notice one more person rushing around. The fire alone may have been enough of a distraction, but I needed something to really hold their attention.
No more than thirty seconds from the time I arrived in my present I was at the time machine controls. They didn't make much sense to me, but I could recognise a power button when I saw one. I hit the button and nothing happened. Cursing under my breath I thought to when I had been transported back in time - what had the technician done? Before he hit the button he had twisted a few knobs or thrown some switches. I looked at the controls again but nothing seemed obvious. So I did the only thing I could think of and started throwing switches and twisting dials at random. Once again I hit the button and this time was rewarded with a loud crackling of energy. The machine itself, high up on the platform, leapt to life loudly, making a satisfying amount of noise. Without looking back I jumped away from the controls and started running to the hallway where I had sent Spin.
What I had not counted on was a beam of energy lancing out and striking the ceiling. Debris rained down in front of me as part of the roof caved in. A cloud of dust spread out, obscuring my vision, but also obscuring everyone else's. Unfortunately, my path was also obstructed. I turned and ran back the way I had come, racing by the machine once again. There was another set of rooms on this side of the building. Hopefully everything would be organised the same way.
I burst through the doorway into an empty hall. It was short with a left hand turn at the end. As I reached the turn there was another explosion in the main warehouse area. The force of the explosion was enough to cause me to stumble forward around the corner. Before I could recover my equilibrium something solidly connected with my jaw. I fell back, slapping my head against the wall. As I faded into darkness, my last thought was for Spin.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Some of my favourite actors



Why I like him: He's Spider-Man. I don't know why I need to say more?
My Favourite Role: Peter Parker in Spider-Man 1, Spider-Man 2, and Spider-Man 3
Other Notable Roles: Cider House Rules, Pleasantville, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. None of which I have seen, but I have always wanted to see.
Roles he maybe should have passed on: General Hospital. Apparently he was on an episode in 1979 when he was four. Say it ain't so Toby!
Who he is not: Jake Gyllenhaal








Why I like him: He is good at being a loveable character, someone you can’t help but root for.
My Favourite Role: Robert Graysmith in Zodiac
Other Notable Roles: October Sky, Jarhead, Brokeback Mountain.
Role he maybe should have passed on: Bubble Boy. I can’t see how that was a good idea.
Who he is not: Toby Maguire





Why I Like Him: Because every movie he does is awesome. He does movies that he wants to do and he does them well. He is amazing at playing quirky and odd and slightly dark, but he can do straight serious and funny as well. Seriously, I may love this man.
My Favourite Role: Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, and Pirates of the Caribbean: We Just Like Making Really Long Titles (that last one may not be true)(but it might be)
Other Notable Roles (take a deep breath): Corpse Bride, Edward Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Finding Neverland, Secret Window (a highly underrated movie), Once Upon a Time In Mexico, From Hell, Blow, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and Ed Wood
Roles he maybe should have passed on: Chocolat, but I can’t say that for sure. Simply because he is in it I want to see it. Kinda. A little. Sigh.
Times Working with Tim Burton: 6



Why I Like Him: I never watched the X-Files, but the movies that I have seen him do have all been good ones. There is just something charming about him.
Best Known Role: Either Patient in woman's underwear in St. Elsewhere (1982), or Fox Mulder in The X-Files. One or the other.
Other Notable Roles: Evolution (a highly highly highly underrated movie), Zoolander, Return to Me (this was a heck of a good movie - Go see it)
Roles he maybe should have passed on: Beethoven. I’m not saying that it was a bad movie, but I am saying that they made what seems to have been fifteen thousand more. It’s getting sad, and it’s too bad he had a part in it.
How often he has fans ask him about aliens: Daily.




Why I Like Him: He is really good at what he does, and he only does movies that he wants to do. He is exceptionally good at doing comedy, but he doesn’t have to resort to boob jokes or over-the-top slapstick to be funny.
My Favourite Role: Martin Q. Blank in Grosse Pointe Blank
Other Notable Roles: Better Off Dead… (odd, odd, awesome, odd movie), Con Air, High Fidelity, Runaway Jury
Role he maybe should have passed on: Serendipity. I just can’t make myself want to see that one.
Number of Films with his Sister: 11
This is by no means an exhaustive list, just a few that I thought of today. Maybe another day I list a few more. And Johnny Depp again, because he just bears repeating.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Crazy Nigerians....

I have been hit with a classic hoax email. It is a variation on the Nigerian scam. That is when a person receives an email claiming that these people in Nigeria have some obscene amount of money, $10 million to $100 million, and if the receiver of said email is willing to help then everyone will become filthy rich. All you have to do is send some money to help get the process started. But, of course, the money is never delivered and the poor sucker is bilked out of thousands of dollars.
The email I got was from MRS. MARIFE C. DERONA, a woman who allegedly helped a rich man going through a divorce sock away $10.2 million in a secret account. Tragically, said gentleman has since kicked the bucket, leaving her as the only person with knowledge about the location of the money. If I'm willing to give her my name and address we can start the process of getting the money, of which I will receive 20%, or roughly $2 million. I'm so excited. Usually I just get offers for larger....tracts of land. I have finally moved into the big leagues!
There is actually a part of me that wants to make up an address and name and see if I can string them along for a while, but I probably won't do that. It could be fun though....

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Fauxupdate

This isn't my real update. This is me saying sorry for not updating for a while, been kind of out of it for a while, but I have a few updates just waiting to get updated. But not quite yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

You don't even know I'm here

I wish I was a ninja. Specifically a movie ninja. They are so cool. They can leap higher than a normal person and have a free pass to rooftops every night. One of the best things about ninjas is their balance. As a ninja it is your duty to stand dramatically on the edge of a rooftop, any rooftop, every rooftop. In fact they seem to have to spend as much time as possible on the edge of things and they never fall (unless they are kicked by another ninja)(or a monster, ninjas are always fighting monsters). If I could ask a ninja any question it would have to do with the smoke bombs. I want to know where they get them, if they have to make them themselves or if there is a store where they can purchase them. I bet there is a ninja store and if they are seen shopping there there have to pay an extra ten percent. The best ninjas can enter the store through the door with the bell, pick out there items using a shopping cart, pay, and flirt with the cashier all without being seen. The very best ninjas can do all of that using a shopping cart with a bad wheel.
And the outfits are always cool. The pajamas from the seventies are a bit lame, but still on the cool side. Nowadays, the black robes, the possibility of capes, a mask, it's all awesome. They are the envy of all hero/villain groups everywhere. Ninjas are so good that they don't even need a doctor because they never get hurt enough to need more than a self-applied bandage.
And if you happen to be the leader of a group of ninjas, that's even better. You barely need to talk. You just hold up a hand and motion one way and thirty ninjas suddenly go that way and attack anything in their way.
I haven't even mentioned the weapons yet. I think the nunchucks have some of the best opportunities for cool looking moves, but really most weapons that ninjas use are pretty sweet. As a ninja the most important part of using a weapon is to pose in a cool way. Really you're a failure as a ninja if you don't pose from time to time, even in the middle of a fight.
I watched TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) tonight, and it was pretty sweet. It's not just a goofy cartoon, it's got a bit of an edge to it. The animation style is pretty sweet, perfect for the Turtles. Raphael is crankier than ever. Leonardo is a tortured leader, as usual. Michelangelo is agreeably goofy, but not too much. Donatello isn't really developed too much - if you didn't know the story of the turtles you wouldn't really know too much about him after the movie. It would have been nice if they had done a bit more with him, but not really necessary. The story is mostly about Raphael and Leonardo. Casey Jones is pretty funny too, and April O'Neil is randomly a pseudo-ninja herself, no longer reporting the news. Pretty cool though. It was a fun movie with cool visuals. I would recommend it to anyone, even if you haven't seen the other movies or cartoons.
And I'm out. Not that I was ever here.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

You're never too old for space camp

I just saw Stranger Than Fiction, and I am sorry I had not seen it earlier. It is quite a good movie. It is not a slapstick comedy, though it is quite amusing. It is also not a heartwrenching tragedy, though there is some sadness. Will Ferrel shows that he can do more than mindless crazed humour (though he is good at that, I love Ron Burgandy). Emma Thompson is delightfully quirky as a writer stuck for a good death. And Maggie Gyllenhall should change her name to Maggie Smith. Much easier to remember. I really think you should watch that movie. WATCH THAT MOVIE!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Fools Of Us All - Chapter 12 (See March 25)

I knew I should be scared. I could tell by how Caz was reacting. Her breathing had become shallow and her eyes were darting nervously back and forth. "What are mercs?" I asked, whispering to match her tone. I glanced around the corner carefully, watching as the two men standing by the desk questioned the admitting nurse.
The question seemed to startle Caz, forcing her to focus in order to answer. "M.E.R.C.s," she said, taking a deep breath, "are the counter-revolutionary force organised to, well, counter any revolution that may rise up. It stands for the Marshal Elimination of Revolution Corps. When things really started to hit the fan there was rioting in the streets. The M.E.R.C.s were formed to put down those riots, and they just stuck around to keep anything from happening again. They are absolutely brutal. There is no judge or jury with them - only the executioner. The last time I saw them they were shooting the hell out of the people working the time machine."
I nodded, the gravity of the situation becoming clear. "I'm just going to guess that they are rather high-tech, even in your time."
She looked at me with fear in her eyes. "In my time, a squad of twenty could make a dent against a normal army of hundreds, even thousands. The only advantage we had was that they were unable to find us. That changed the day I came back." I could hear a note of panic start to creep into her voice. "If they are here then all is lost."
My mind worked furiously. A quick peek around the corner and then I ducked back. We had some advantage. First, they didn't know where we were. It was quite possible, maybe even likely, that they didn't know what I looked like. Caz sure hadn't, so maybe these guys were equally clueless. Also, for all of their high tech gadgetry, they didn't know the area or the time. I, on the other hand, had grown up around Moose Jaw and I knew the terrain quite well. Plus this was my time, so I would be able to blend in, making discovery at least slightly harder. It wasn't much, but it was something. Plus, at least we knew the time machine was still working. Gently I grabbed Caz by the arms and looked her square in the eye. "Listen, we still have a shot. If we want to get out of this then we have to stay calm. Based on what you know, how many of them do you think there are?"
I could see that she was drawing strength from me, which terrified me because I didn't really have a clue what I was doing. But that didn't matter right now. We didn't have much time (that seemed ironic to me every time I thought about it) so I just had to keep acting like I knew what was going on.
"I wasn't big on the intelligence side of the organisation, but I do know that the time machine takes great power and that the M.E.R.C.s are a very confident bunch." She thought for a moment. "I can't see there being more than three of them here, and it may be that the two we saw are the only ones here. They will rely on their advanced technology to try and flush us out, figuring that we will be easy to defeat."
"No, not we. You. I don't think they would know I am with you. All of the information that they can have is that you were in the hospital and you escaped."
"But they came from my time. Surely they could just look back in their archives and know it all."
I pondered this for a moment and then shook my head. "I don't think so. We aren't at a point in society where our every movement is monitored, so no one knows that I am worth watching yet. That means no records of any kind, and definitely nothing to tie me to you." Quietly we crept back down the hall, away from the main lobby. We would have to find another way to leave the hospital. Surely this place had a back door.
Sometimes I wonder at how much difference a second could make. If we had waited just a moment longer before going around that particular corner would things have worked out differently? I may never know. I do know I should have been more aware of my surroundings instead of lost in thought. The glimmerings of a plan were starting to form in my mind, but all such thoughts were thrown out of my mind when I heard a triumphant shout from the other end of the hall.
"Aha, I knew I'd find you punks. You aren't getting away from me this time!" A shot echoed in the hallway and I could feel the passage of the bullet zip by my face, his haste causing him to miss with his first shot. Without a thought I threw myself back around the corner and started running, hearing the slap of Caz's feet on the floor as she joined me. This was a bad situation. There wasn't anywhere to go but out into the lobby - straight into the teeth of the devil.
With a sigh I barrelled around the corner. "Run, girl," I shouted, not wanting to use her name around the M.E.R.C.s, who looked up with startled expressions on their faces. As she had guessed there were three of them. Two were standing at the desk, looming over the admitting nurse, trying to get info out of them. The third was against the wall, obviously watching to make sure they weren't taken by surprise. Perhaps he should have been looking harder.
On instinct I grabbed that one by the arms and shouted at him "You've got to help us, there's a crazy guy talking about time travel chasing us!" and then hurried on my way without daring to look back, following behind Caz who had passed me when I stopped.
Against all odds all three men snapped around, pulling out futuristic looking weapons, but not so futuristic that their deadly purpose was unrecognisable. I heard a surprised yelp behind me, followed by the sound of three weapons firing simultaneously. The sound faded behind me as I pushed through the automatic doors at the front, nearly bowling over Caz who was standing with her hands up.
Another M.E.R.C was standing about five feet away, his weapon held with a casual deadliness that a small part of my brain admired. He was raising one wrist to his mouth, likely to call his friends to join the party. "Wait," I said desperately, working on instinct. "You don't want to do that."
He cocked his head to the side. I wished I could see his face, but he was wearing some sort of helmet. The outside of the helmet was smooth and featureless, save for darkened slit where the eyes were no doubt watching me closely. His uniform was an odd mixture of extremely futuristic arcane. He was wearing boots that went halfway up his calves, and heavy leather pants were tucked into them. A separate chest plate, also of leather, covered his torso. He was wearing a shirt underneath the chest plate that ended in a turtleneck-like top which completely covered his neck. For some reason his arms were completely bare down to below his elbows where a pair of gauntlets started, covering his hands. Some gadgets were on the gloves, I could tell, though what they did I could not say. A belt with various pouches was around the waist. There were enough small lights that I could tell there was serious power behind the old-style look. The eeriest part was that it was all black, the deepest black I had ever seen.
His wrist stopped and slowly lowered. "All right, I'll bite." Even through the electronic filtering that his voice was going through I could tell that he was amused. "Why do I not want to contact the others?"
Surreptitiously I slipped the globe out of Caz's pocket. "Because of this!" In a smooth motion I flicked the globe just to his left, distracting him for only a moment, but a moment was long enough. His head moved that direction and at the same time Caz and I launched at him, covering the few feet before he could react. I hit him high and she hit him low. He went down like a sack of potatoes. I ripped off his helmet and punched him a couple of times, enough to knock him out. Quickly retrieving the globe we started running.
"Hey, stop!" I glanced behind me to see that the first three guys had come out. Putting on a burst of speed we headed around the corner of the building. I didn't know what to do now besides run. Suddenly another M.E.R.C. appeared in front of us, his weapon raised. We dived to the side, rolling through some bushes and coming out in the parking lot. The crackle of some high energy weapons was followed by a small explosion of dirt in the bushes, which quickly caught fire. Another shot rang out, hitting a car to our left.
"I don't think they care if we come back alive," I gasped. Grabbing her arm I pulled her between a large truck and a white Firefly. I had noticed another M.E.R.C. at the other end of the parking lot. "I think they brought more than three guys."
She nodded, obviously having noticed the same thing. We were trapped.
I peeked around the bumper of the Firefly and noticed three M.E.R.C.s standing at the end of the row. They were putting together what looked like a large gun. A long tube was put together by threading one shorter tube onto another. It was mounted on a tripod. A blast shield was placed in front of the gunner's seat. Two metal pipes were inserted horizontally from the tube, just in front of the blast shield. Each tube ended in a padded square about two feet wide and four feet high. Two of the men seemed to hide behind these squares. A small slot on the blast shield opened. "Come out and you probably won't get hurt," came a voice. "If you don't come out, we'll blast you out...like this!" With that the gun swung around, aiming near our position, but not close enough to hit. The sound of a battery powering up could be heard. A sudden flash of light shot out of the tube, blinding me so I couldn't see what happened next. When my vision cleared, I could see that the loud crashing sounds I had heard had been a new Ford diesel truck being utterly destroyed. It was split in two, and those two pieces had flown through the air, landing on vehicles at opposite ends of the parking lot. "Whoops, forgot that it was on low mode. Next shot gets put onto high."
I looked at Caz with despair. I couldn't see how we could get out of this. Except....
"I'd be more scared if you didn't look like you dressed in the dark. Is that what clowns look like in the future?" A few shots from the hand guns rang out, followed by another explosion from the gun. I glanced out and saw it had moved back a couple of feet. I understood what the squares were for - the gun had to be braced by the other two men.
"What are you doing?" Caz was still whispering, but she was doing it forcefully. I whispered in her ear for a moment and then looked at her in silence. She sighed. "This is the worst plan ever."
I shrugged. "It's also the only chance we have."
"But what if it doesn't work."
"Then we probably die. But if we don't try, then we definitely die." We stared at each other for a moment, and then she rolled her eyes.
"I suppose we can't just keep throwing this stupid globe around." A small smile played around the edges of her lips, and her eyes danced with resigned glee. God she was pretty.
I banished the thought from my mind and took a deep breath. "Look," I shouted at the men in black. "I have plans tonight with your mom, so why don't we cut the chatter so I can make sure I'm not late. I'm going to go ahead and accept your surrender now."
An angry laugh answered my taunting. "I don't think you are in any position to be talking so tough, boy."
"Ooh, good comeback. You even used words with more than one syllable. I'd be more impressed but I find it hard to be scared pansies who are so insecure about their manhood that they need a large gun to compensate. I bet the women are all over you and your 'big gun', or do you have to give that back when you go off duty?"
Another pair of cars disintegrated in reply. I looked at Caz who merely raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.
"Look," I said, taking a deep breath. "We'll come out if you promise not to shoot."
Silence.
"I may even apologize about the gun remark."
Finally an answer. "Come out slowly, hands where we can see them. I promise no harm will come to you."
Raising our hands above our heads we slowly rose to our feet and stepped into the open. I glanced at Caz and nodded before looking at the barrel of the large gun facing me. A helmeted head peered around the blast shield. "Oh, silly me," came the voice. "I lied." The sound of the battery charging up came through the clear morning air loud and clear. My heart leapt in my throat.
Beside me I could feel Caz tense up. As the battery reached full charge, she yelled out "Now!"
Three things happened all at once: Caz and I dropped to our knees, our arms covering our heads; we each slapped the button on the recall device that we had each placed on our wrist; and the man behind the gun loosed the round that was meant to wipe us from the face of the earth. It sped towards us faster than I thought possible. Pain like I had never felt before enveloped me, drawing me into a weird sort of darkness, and then I knew no more.