And to think I used to like that brand of ice cream

On Thursday night, I spent much of the night half awake, I think. I would have a dream, and then I would wake up enough to know that I was having a dream and I would shift around on my bed and try to fall asleep. But during the course of the day, I came to the realisation that I may not have been awake at all. I may simply have been dreaming that I was half awake and in my dream I was having dreams. I'm really not sure.
Then I went to work on Friday and had one of the worst days I've had at work in a long time. I was working the patio by myself, and I crashed. I couldn't keep track of what was going on, people were constantly going out there to eat, leaving me with no time to actually catch up, and I just lost track of everything. To make it even better, it ended up being a twelve hour work day for me.
And then I came home, went to bed, and dreamt that I was at work and having even a worse day. So I spent essentially a full day having a bad day at work. Now I'm going to work for what is likely going to be another long day.
Some days you just can't win.

I have no words for this.

I had a weird little incident at work today (Thursday). If we see people leaving after their meal, we are supposed to wish them a happy day or some similar departing word, and I try my best to do so. I noticed someone leaving, so I called out to him "Have a nice day." A few minutes later I was in the back and one of the other servers comes over to me and is laughing. Apparently the man had come back in and was upset with me because he thought that I was being sarcastic with him. I'm not sure why, because I was genuinely wishing him a good day. I guess there was something in the tone of my voice. Or he's just paranoid.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Grass stains on my shoulder, rib, hip, thigh, calf, knee, ankle, toes, and ear.

Jeff's still a weenie! We have youth in the park every Wednesday over the summer. Basically it's just a chance to hang out with the youth and play some games. There's always a message, but it's short. The rest of the time is games and stuff. Today we were playing football. Jeff had arrived late, as he does because of his work(out) schedule. I was playing quarterback and I noticed that Jeff had wandered over to watch the game. I thought to myself "I wonder if Jeff is going to join in." I then said "hut" (cuz that's what you say when you play football, though I had a few choice words running through my head a few moments later) and started looking for an open receiver. I then thought "Hmm...Jeff is coming up awfully fast. He surprised me, so he's going to let up now cuz the jok...Oooof!" There is a part of my brain that is entirely, well, stupid. I went down like a sack of wet potatoes, and now my shoulder is sore. But I have to admit that he got me good. Weenie.
Yesterday I went and saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Now, if any of you is unfamiliar with Roald Dahl stories, I highly reccomend that you go out and have a read. They are classified as children's literature, but they are not quite conventional stories. There is a richness of imagination that is simply not visible in many stories, adult or children. The world of Roald Dahl is a wonderful place. He brought us James and the Giant Peach, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Twits, and many many others. Not all have been made into movies, but some have. Most notably was "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" in the seventies. Many people view this movie as one of the all time greats, and I have to admit that I like it. The oompa loompa songs are pretty fun. But so horribly kitschy. And I will probably offend people when I say this, it did not come close to matching the slightly left of centre world of Roald Dahl. It was just too seventies. In fact, Roald Dahl hated it so much that he refused to allow them to make a movie of the sequel Charlie and the Glass Elevator.
Now Johnny Depp and Tim Burton have taken on this quirky author, and I have to say that there are few people around that would be as suited for this tale. Tim Burton has such an element of surreality about everything he does that it is almost as though he were made for Roald Dahl. I went into the movie with high expectations and was only slightly disappointed in a couple areas. First, the songs the oompla loompas sing were a bit muddled at times, so that it was hard to understand the lyrics, and the coreography was a bit off somehow. But the songs were still pretty sweet (performed by Danny Elfman, another frequent collaborator with Tim Burton). The other disappointment was that Willy Wonka was almost too childish at times. Almost. I wasn't sure about it at first, but as the story wrapped to a close, I realised what they had done and was much more satisfied with the character. It really was a minor complaint, more of a quirk of my own than anything in the movie itself. And it is no secret that I am practically in love with Johnny Depp. Everything that I have seen the man in has been very impressive. He is able to play a different character every time, unlike some actors. Paul Walker, for example, seems to get roles that require him to look stunned and flex his muscles, and that's it. Or, in the very least, that's how he plays every character. It's getting old. His movies are all kinda sucky. Johnny Depp, on the other hand, can be in a movie that is at best only so-so, and yet his performance is quite impressive. Basically I haven't seen a movie of his that I have regretted seeing.
All of this to say, I really enjoyed "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" immensely. Go check it out, now that I've built your hopes up. Don't watch the Gene Wilder version before you go. Go into it expecting nothing besides an entertaining story, and you will not be unsatisfied. There, I've said all I'm going to say.

Darryell Ulrickson

Yesterday I went to a wedding and it wasn't too bad. Samantha Dennis and Vince Andersen tied the proverbial knot in a touching ceremony. This one wasn't a bad wedding because I knew a great deal of people there, since Samantha is a cousin of the Ralphs, a family that is basically my second family, so I knew many of the extended family that was there. It was kind of fun.
Also, Pete and I got to be the MCs afterwards. We played around a bit, including doing a skit of how Vince proposed. I played Samantha, and as such, I wore a wig and a dress. A dress with a green flowery print all over it. A dress that did not fit around my shoulders and which featured sleeve holes that would not let my hands through because they were too small. It was fun, though. Not the wearing a dress part per say, but doing the skit in general. Although, I have to say it was too hot. It's my fault for wearing black, but still. That was ridiculous. Actually, it was only too hot when standing in the direct sunlight, or when the breeze stopped blowing in the windows during the reception. So it was only too hot about half of the time. Which was still tough for the bride in a dress that featured enough material to make a decent sized tent (it had a train on it, and there always seems to be so much extra material on wedding dresses, like the bride is trying to hide in there). And all of the bridesmaids got sunburned on their shoulders. Felt kinda bad for them.
Well, cowabunga and all that. See ya next time.
Oh yeah, my name was spelled in the program like it is in the Title of this BLOG. That is the most unique spelling of my name ever!

It took two people to write Happy Birthday. TWO!

Well, today was my birthday, and I worked the whole thing. Except the part that I slept through.
On someone's birthday, it is customary for said person to examine their life, to see where they are going and where they have been. I can see why so many people drink on their birthday.
Me, I don't really see birthdays as all that significant, at least not now, when I am young and invincible. I look back on my life, and I see that I have made many mistakes that I wish I had not, but that all in all, I've set myself up for great things in the future. What those great things are, I'm not sure yet. But hey, where's the fun in the journey if you know the ending.
And now, like a broken mirror, I'm not reflecting anymore. At least not in the morose birthday sense.
I hope I never spend my time looking in the obituaries for people that I know who have died. That's so morbid.

A vat of warm mayonnaise?

For the past few months I've been going through all of my CDs, listening to them in the car, since that is the only place I really listen to CDs anymore, and it's got me to thinking. That, and the fact that I live with Jeff right now, and am related to him in general. He is someone who really gets into his music. He buys CDs of the bands that he likes, he's learning to play guitar (and getting pretty good at it), and is just a musical type of guy. For me, the music is not quite so important. I like music, but I'm not going to buy much. I've been curious what the difference is between us, why he is so into music and I'm not. Not that I think we should be the same or that one is better than the other, I was just curious. And I think I've come up with an answer. A very broad and general answer, but an answer nonetheless.
When it comes to music, Jeff is all about the music itself - the lyrics and the music have to be there. He really likes the Goo Goo Dolls because that is a good description of them, good musically and lyrically. His interest is very specialised, which is not a bad thing. He really gets into music and is constantly listening for the next thing that is going to be awesome, and he's willing to listen to pretty much anything (even country music now!).
For me, it's different. I'm more interested in the story, the words that are used to compliment the music. I can forgive okay music if it is good lyrically. I can rarely forgive lyrics with great music because I'm not that interested in the music. Again, this is a very general thought because there are many songs that I like that are very simple (save a HORSE/ ride a cowboy!). What I look for in music is something that is different, something that looks at life a little differently than the norm. Matchbox 20 is good for that because they write their songs so well. There always seems to be a purpose behind what they are saying, a sort of probing exploration into their lives and feelings. Jars of Clay seems to do much the same. I also like the quirky stuff, like Talking Heads. The music is fun, but there often seems to be something under the surface that they are driving at. I have to admit that I don't always get what they are saying, but for the most part I like it.
In my mind, too much music has gotten completely off track from what artists really should be about. Take rap for example. The entire industry seems to be built on anger, sex, and violence. Many rap artists seem to either sing about how great they are (even their first singles are about how they are so great), how crappy everything in their life is and ever was and ever will be (as they spend their millions from their record deal), or they are simply singing about wanting to get some sex and they don't even care about the woman/man they are singing about/to. Mix in a liberal dose of singing about how bad they are going to beat the other people, and you have an entire industry that is just perpetuating its own problems and not actually trying to solve anything. I'm not saying that people need to completely ignore their problems. There is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging what has gone before and what has led a person to the place that they are at. There is something absolutely wrong about not dealing with it, and that seems to be what much of rap is. Simply anger for the sake of anger. That is why I liked the song Gravity by Eminem. This song talks about how life is always a struggle and that things are going to be hard. The people that he is singing to face troubles that I will probably never see, the gang wars, the poverty, the inner city turmoils, that kind of stuff. But the song goes on to say that you need to take a shot. Life is not going to get better by sitting around doing nothing. No, life will change only if you reach out and grab it by the short hairs and yank. Life ran out of golden platters a long time ago, so it can't hand it to you. Make your own opportunities instead, and make the best of them. Stuff like that is not said in rap often enough, because it seems that whining and complaining about life is more profitable.
And it's not just rap, that's just my particular beef. Rock is bland, pop's bubble has, well, popped, country is just so depressing sometimes. Those people need to understand the difference between a touching song and a sappy song. Most are sappy, some are actually touching. Whiskey Lullaby, by someone who's name I can't remember, is a very touching song. It's not just whiny sorrow. Sorry, just another hang up.
All of this to say, songs, for me, need to be chewed to be really enjoyed. Either that, or they need to be good loud fun (Cuz chicks dig it!). I can certainly handle that. But there's more to it. If it was just that simple, then I would constantly be buying CDs as well, but I'm not. Another difference between Jeff and I is that music is just a small part of it for me. I love movies that are either very good like the music I like, or just plain fun...like the music I like. Hitch is good because it is not just a typical comedy, but it actually looks at love. Heck, I'm just impressed that his goal in the movie is not to get guys into the beds of the women they like, but into the hearts of the women they like. That's different right there. So many movies are bland reworkings of what has gone before. I find it gets harder and harder to impress me (Johnny Depp is a master at it, I hope to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory soon) with movies these days. I can enjoy a movie, but at the end I often forget about the movie completely. But some movies stick out.
But wait, there's more. While I am more inclined to watch and enjoy movies, my true passion lies with books, and I think that goes back to relating through story. In my mind, I am a story teller. A long winded one (sorry about that folks, I'll be shorter next time, I promise), but that's okay, I hope. I'm not necessarily the best person to tell an anecdote because I am actually terrible at verbalising stories like that. However, random ramblings, that I can do out loud. And give me a pen and paper, and I'll entertain you with a story, poem, limerick, etc without even trying. People who know me know that I enjoy making people smile, if not laugh. That is not all though. I really want to start pushing people with what I have to say, to maybe stir up a little controversy, or at least make people think. I don't quite have the confidence to rock the boat yet, but I'm working on it.
I think, though, that is what always gets me about the whole Christian arts scene. It's too bland - all of it. The music, the books, the movies. A great deal of it sucks. My biggest problem is that there are no problems in the Christian are world it seems. Most of the fiction seems to be romance that follows a very similar pattern. Protagonist falls away from Christianity, has life altering experience, comes back usually because of the love of a Christian, and the book ends with them all giving their lives to Christ. Or, protagonist is Christian, runs into trouble, falls in love with someone, and by the end everything has been worked out and their love is Christian. Gag me with a cactus on the end of a die grinder. Or how about this - the music always sings about how good God is, and how everything is better with God and stuff like that. My question is this - the day after my sister is killed in a bank robbery, am I supposed to simply chalk it up to God working for the good of those who love him? Or can I grieve for a while? Is it okay to ask God why she was taken like that and why the bank robbers got away? Is it all right to cry and be upset? Yet so much of the music completely ignores this aspect of life. Even David in the Psalms got right ticked at God. Why can't we do the same? I'm not saying that we should question everything that God does, or that we should go around angry. But we can't ignore it. As for the books, I wonder why everyone in the book, except for the bad guys of course, decides that they really want to be a Christian? In my life, I have to say that more often than not, experiences like the ones in the books would not instantly turn people to God. Yet the authors seem to completely ignore that possibility. It's like they are afraid to make people really question what they believe, to make them examine what they say is true and what is false. If they really believe that what they preach is true, it will hold up to scrutiny. Instead, they turn the world into a fantasy world. Kinda sad, really. And who are they writing these books/songs for, anyway? Are they singing to me about how good God is? Cuz I already know. I may need reminding from time to time, but I know. How is this music helping people to reach those who don't believe? Those who have siblings addicted to heroin so badly that they are robbing homeless people might have trouble simply believing that God is good because that rock band wrote a song that said so without really giving any sort of reason. It makes me sad to think of the state of the Christian marketplace, the home of Christian crap and Jesus junk and God garbage.
I also hate tracts, but that's another rant for another day.
Well, there we are, another picture of me. Or at least a piece of the puzzle. There is a great deal of criticism up there, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what to do about it. Maybe in the future I will help lead a revival wave, but one the likes of which has not been seen since Acts chapter one. Anyone else have any ideas? Let me know.
If you've stuck with me this far, congratulations. Go and treat yourself to a creamsicle. Or banana, your choice.
For all of us here at channel 32, good night.

P.S. For the record, I don't have any sisters, and definitely none who were killed in a bank robber. Just in case you were wondering.

Double Billing

Got a couple of movies for you.
First up is the Fantastic Four. This is a movie that I enjoyed. It's one of those summer blockbusters that is just supposed to be fun and loud and contain plenty of explosions. This one fills that role rather nicely. The people in it are amusing when they need to be and do a good job with the needed fight scenes. Looking this over, it almost looks like I didn't like this movie, but that's not true. I will grant that it is not exactly Oscar material, but I never really pay attention to that sort of thing. What the Fantastic Four does do is entertain. As a comic fan, I went in with certain expectations, and they were all met. The movie does not follow the comic book exactly, but it does have catch the spirit of the comics. Something I liked was that the group was always liked as the Fantastic Four. That is something that has always been an important part of the comic - they are a family (though not all related). They have no secret identities, they just are these four people with fantastic powers. The world loves them for what they do and who they are. It is like a direct counterpoint to Spider-man, who is tolerated at best, at least by the general public. And as a family, they have their own little internal squabbles. It is fun watching Johnny and Ben (The Human Torch and The Thing) squabble back and forth. Me and Jeff are much the same way at times, with less superpowers. Doctor Doom is evil, but !!!!SPOILER WARNING!!!! he does not die at the end, which is good. He's incapacitated, but that is always the case. If he pops up again, it probably won't be for a couple movies (oh yes, there will be sequels).
Actually, I'm excited about where they are going to go with the movie franchise. The FF has always been a group that dealt with cosmic events. In the first year of the comic they faced Galactus, a being that travels from star system to star system eating planets for survival. That'd be something to see in a movie. So there you go, a fun movie. Take the family, it's good fun.
The second movie is a bit older and probably familiar to many of you. It is simply known as Hitch. I finally watched it tonight, and I really liked it. I hope women were paying attention when they watched that movie, because it touches on some interesting stuff. For most guys, it really is hard to make that first impression, to take the step. This movie shows that, and it makes me wish there was a real date doctor around. It would be so much easier if there was someone coaching from the sidelines. It's not even so much that he was telling them what to do as he was giving them the courage to do what they wanted. Is this making any sense? Anyway, the movie was really good. Will Smith is a very entertaining man, and Kevin James is hilarious. My favourite scene is when the woman asks him for a pen, and from behind the door a hand casually reaches out, puts one in his pocket, pats it and then leaves. And then Kevin pulls out the pen and offers it to the lady. It's almost like he was on pause while until the pen was in his pocket. It just kills me everytime I see it (it's in the previews, so I've seen it before). Seriously, watch this movie if you haven't already.
So, until next time, don't lick toads.

And vent!

I don't like rude people, but I can't seem to avoid them. I was at work last week and I was the closing server. That means I'm there until the restaurant closes (I know, shocking), which isn't a bad gig, really. It means I get to work more hours, and by the end of the night it's usually pretty slack. Come to think of it, that's when I like working as a server the best, when it's a bit laid back and relaxed. Anyway, on this particular day, Canada Day now that I think of it, the restaurant decided to close early because it was the holiday and it was very dead. So Jeff, our manager (not my brother) puts two large signs on the door saying "Due to the Canada Day holiday, we will be closing at ten o'clock today" or something to that effect. The new closing time of ten o'clock was definitely on there. At 9:10, a group of about 10 people come in, an even mix of adults and kids. Fortunately they only ordered a couple things to share (and were actually apologetic about being there so late) and were out of the restaurant before 10. At 9:30, I look up, and watch as a group of six people walk up to the door. As they walk in, every single one of them reads the sign. Yet they still come in and ask to be seated. After that table, we had two more tables come in and order.
What's so rude about that, you may be asking yourself. After all, we are a restaurant, and it is our job to serve people.
I will not argue that point. It is our job to serve them, which is exactly what we did. However, I would ask this question to you in return. How would you like to have someone come to your job when you have fifteen minutes before you finish and make you stay an extra hour just because they want to. If you ask me, that is completely rude, yet that is exactly what people do. We once had a group of 15 people come into the restaurant ten minutes before closing, and even after we had mentioned that we were closing right away (they thought that we were open later than we really were, so we had to tell them when we really closed) they still wanted to stay. Fortunately one of the people in the group was kind enough to point out that with us closing right away it wasn't very nice to make us stay late, so they left to somewhere that was open later. But she was right, it wouldn't have been very nice. A group that size would have been at least another hour, maybe longer, before they left. That would have pushed the kitchen guys back in their closing duties, as well as the bartender and the dishwasher. If you ask me, it's just rude to force someone to work late for your own pleasure. There are very few people out there who would actually be happy if someone came in right at the end of the day and told them to stay longer, yet it seems like it is okay to make servers do it.
That's not the only example of rude people I've come across in a restaurant. I'm not even talking the obvious ones, the people who are just mean to their waiter or waitress, who demand every little thing and have an attitude problem. That is definitely a problem, but not the only problem. The main one I run into is simply not listening. I know that when you go out for a meal with people, you want to talk with them and laugh and joke around and just generally relax. Frankly, as a server, I want you to be relaxed too. It makes everyone's life easier that way. However, please try to pay attention. I don't know how many times I have come to a table and been completely ignored. I'm not trying to interrupt, I'm just trying to do my job. If they were trying to talk to me and I ignored them, these same people would complain loudly, many of them refusing to tip and/or demanding a discount on their food for the poor service. Yet when I come to the table and try to take their order, they just keep on talking as though I weren't there. How am I supposed to serve a person that refuses to acknowledge that I am even in the same room as them.
Hand in hand with that is the long decision making times of some people. I should probably clarify that. It's not that I want everyone to decide instantly. I don't really care if it takes you an hour to decide. I actually had a table that sat for almost that long before they decided, but I didn't care, because I had other things to do, and I kept an eye on them, so that when they were decided I took their order right away and everyone was happy. Taking a long time to decide is annoying when I am at the table waiting. I'll ask if everyone is ready, and someone will just start ordering, so I assume that everyone is ready. And then I wait while they argue back and forth and completely ignore me. Often I'll ask if they want a couple minutes to decide, and they'll say no, but it takes them two minutes to finally decide what they want. This is especially bad where I work because we are supposed to crouch at the tables so that we aren't looming over our guests. Crouching for that long starts to get painful.
These two types of rudeness (long decisions and ignoring) are rude because of the time it takes away from everyone and everything else that is my responsibility. While I'm waiting for someone to decide on their meal, two other tables are going thirsty and getting mad at me because I am ignoring them, or so it seems to them. While I am being ignored, my other table waiting to order, the table that is ready, is being ignored and starting to get upset at my 'poor service', merely because I am trying to give good service to a table that is, for all intents and purposes, treating me like barely tolerable servant.
Seriously, just try and pay attention when in a restaurant. When I come around, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm merely trying to make sure you have everything that you want. Watch for me and give me your attention for just as long as I need it. I will go away and you can go back to talking about how Uncle Frank nearly blew himself up with that firecracker, or whatever else is on your mind. I'm just trying to do my job. And also realise that every restaurant in the world makes their servers work more than one table at a time. That means that there is a good chance, especially when it is busy, that I have other guests who want to be treated as well as you do. So if you need more time, please let me know so that I can go help out others. Believe it or not, that is my cheif concern. Making sure everyone is happy is the whole reason I'm working as a server. Even if you think that a server isn't that altruistic, realise that even if I'm just trying to make you happy just to get a tip, I'm still trying to make you happy. Whatever my reason, that is my goal. And since you're not the only one I'm serving, allow me to try and make everyone happy.
Also, treat me like a real human. Sometimes it seems like some people come into a restaurant and feel like this is their only shot at being royalty, so they had better make the best of it. They demand every little thing from us all the time, wanting this and that and the other thing, and sending the meal back to be fixed because it doesn't look exactly like the picture, which is of a different item but don't try to tell them that they are wrong because the customer is always right! Actually, no you're not. And I don't care who you are or what reason you have for coming to the restaurant, it doesn't give you the right to treat me as less than human. If you don't like being ignored, why would I like it? And yet, there I am, smiling pleasantly while you heap burning ashes upon my head. Is the power trip worth it? I hope so. Also, when I go back into the kitchen, I hope your car explodes when you try to start it. On really bad days I start gathering ingredients that will ensure it does.
Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but seriously people, remember the golden rule, as it has been termed. And don't blame me for things I cannot control, such as prices, or the kitchen making a mistake on your food, or running out of a certain item. I don't pick prices or portion sizes, I don't cook your food, and I am certainly not in charge of ordering the food. Please don't blame me for any of that.
Well, I feel better. These are some of the things that are irritating about working in a restaurant. Don't get me wrong, I actually do enjoy it for the most part. There are bad days, but pretty much any job will have those, so I'm not terribly concerned about that. And I can only speak for myself when I say this: I really am solely concerned with making sure you are happy and satisfied with your meal and service. I am not thinking about how much you will tip me if I'm this nice to you. I'm just trying to make sure you enjoy your experience. I've been a customer before, so I know what bad service looks like and feels like. I don't want you to experience any of that.
Finally, a caveat. I said 'you' many times during the course of this rant, and rant it truly was, but please understand that this is not directed at anyone in specific. Of the people that I know of reading this, I have eaten out with pretty much all of you, and I have never seen any reason to direct anything like this at any one of you. I just found it easier to say what I wanted to say by phrasing it that way.
Well, thanks for listening, I'll catch you later.

FORE!

This morning was just a bit creepy for me. Once again, I had a rather intense dream, but this was one that I don't particularly want to remember all of the details. The broad details are this: There was something about golf being played (which is funny cuz I don't play, or even particularly enjoy, golf) and everyone having a good time. And then, somehow it morphed into a certain group of people becoming so convinced that the end of the world was near that they were going around killing everyone they could. That forced me to stop them by killing them, which was really sucky because I had to kill a good friend of mine. I woke up with the sensation of plunging a knife into his chest (it cut right through the bones like a hot knife through butter) and defending myself from his weakening attempts to stab me back. I woke up breathing hard, almost like how people wake up from nightmares in movies and TV shows, though I was on my side, so I didn't sit straight up. Needless to say, that was a pretty bad dream that I don't want to remember. If you are thinking that I'm going to remember it because I've written it down, then let me tell you something: what I've written here isn't what really disturbed me. Fortunately, the most horrific details have faded through the day, and will continue to fade as the day continues. By tomorrow, all I will remember is what I have written down, and there will be no problem there.
Fin

Quick

Just a quick update: I've been housesitting again. My car is now repaired and running fine thank you. Youth is starting again tonight, and on that note, I gotsta go.