I don't know WHEN I am

People are lazy. You know what has led me to this conclusion? Well, a multitude of things, but one thing in specific this time. Since the nineties ended, there has been some difficulty in figuring out a way to abbreviate the year. In general, people seem to have accepted 'oh-six' as a reasonable abbreviation for '2006'. Another option is 'aught-six' (I like that and try to use it). That I don't really care too much about and I don't find it spectacular at all. What gets me is that even when people go to say the entire year without abbreviating it, they still abbreviate it. I have heard many people (including people on TV and the radio) say that this year is 'two-oh-six'. Not 'two hundred (and) six', and heaven forbid anyone say 'two thousand (and) six'. Nope, the non-abbreviated version of this year is '206'. Possibly BC, I'm not sure.
That being said, I have absolutely no problem with this, especially considering I use it myself quite often. I just think it is amusing.
Okay, you may leave now.

Peach. No, apple! No, Lemon Meringue!!!

Well the new year is upon us, a time to reflect to on the year past and to make our resolutions for the year to come.
Nah, I'm just messing with ya. Hope y'all have a good year. Me? I'm gonna go eat more pie!
Ciao

I think we all know the REAL reason his nose was red!

Some of you may have heard me say this before, and for others it might be news, but I don't really like Christmas music.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Christmas itself. I actually like the season, commercialised though it may be. But the music has to at least improve.
And to be fair, I don't dislike all Christmas music. Probably I really don't like about 30%. Then there is anther 60% that I don't care about at all, leaving roughly 10% that I actually do like. The problem with Christmas music is that most of it is extremely poorly done as far as I'm concerned. Songs like Silent Night and O Holy Night are fine songs when done well. Most singers, however, use those songs (and other similar songs) as excuses to 'show off' their vocal flavour, turning them into over-emotional pieces of drivel. I can't stand the singer who tries to make every note convey all of their pent-up emotions. It actually makes my skin crawl, right off of my skeleton to where it can hide in the corner shuddering. It is very much like the regular R&B/Folk/Hip-hop songs (think of Mariah Carrie type of music) where the lead 'singer' doesn't actually sing, they just add the vocal flavour while background singers actually sing the song. I don't really like that and half of the Christmas songs are like that.
And then there are songs that are just boring to listen to. I'm tired of the songs with Pa-rum-pum-pum-pums, or fa-la-la-la-las, or glo-000-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-000-00-00-00-0-0000000000-rias. I like to use actual words. Plus Little Drummer Boy seems to be the most popular song ever, given how many people have done it.
Added to all of that, I find it odd for some people to even be singing Christmas songs. I don't think I want Eminem to be singing about Peace on Earth. How about groups or rappers who spend the entire year singing about sexing up all the ladies and blowing away those who hate them (gee, using hate to stop hate, that should work!) suddenly singing about Jesus the Saviour of the World. I find it...well, odd.
So those are some reasons why I don't like Christmas music. But I did say that I liked some Christmas music, and I do. But the song has to be done well. Jars of Clay released a Christmas album that had four songs on it - Little Drummer Boy, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, He (a song from their debut album) and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen again (actually, I can't remember which song was repeated, but at least one of the songs had two versions). But I like those Christmas ones because they are really well done musically. Another song I like is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings Medley performed by Barenaked Ladies. I've heard two versions - one is live, and it is pretty funny, they throw in little comments here and there, and they are very good musically as well. The other is the same music, but a studio recording with Sarah McLachlan (I bet I absolutely spelled her name wrong), who can SING. That is also a very good version. I remember in high school one year our choir (I just did sound, I didn't actually sing) did a Christmas concert and they did O Holy Night, and it was awesome, mostly because the soloists (it was basically a soloist singing with the choir doing backup vocals) were really good. One was a friend of mine and he was a good singer. He could even hit the high note, which I think was only put into the song as a joke by the songwriter ("heh, no one will be able to hit THIS note...suckers!"). And the other night was a girl who was also very good. That same year one of the vocal jazz bands did Little Toy Trains ("little toy trains/little toy tracks/little toy drums/coming from a sack/carried by a man/dressed in white and red/little boy don't you think it's time you were in bed"). I loved their version, and it wasn't anything special, it was just done extremely well. There was one girl who was singing a soprano line, hitting notes so high my glasses would crack. I think it was the same girl who sang O Holy Night, come to think of it.
Anyway, like I said, some Christmas music is good. Generally for me a Christmas song is good if I don't mind listening to it year round.
Incidentally, the 60% of songs that I don't care about are just that. They are songs that aren't terrible but there is absolutely nothing of note about them. They are the type of songs that you forget about even while they are still playing because, meh.
So there you have it, my disdain for Christmas music and the reasons for it.

Just a quickie

Sorry for no post lately. I'm doing fine, just been chillin' and got distracted. I'll try to post tomorrow. Or if not tomorrow, then on Friday after I get home to Saskatchewan for Christmas. We'll see.

Fools Of Us All - Chapter 7 (See November 25th)

I sat on the cold examining table, wishing that I had my clothes back. The tests that they had been running on me were extensive and invasive. The past three days had been very painful.
Unable to sit still any longer I rose to my feet. After circling the room a half dozen times I decided to sit down again. Everything here was vaguely unsettling. The table was stainless steel and there wasn't any other furniture in the room. It was a big empty cube with walls and floor and ceiling made of the same stark metal. A single light was inset into the ceiling, casting a harsh pallor across the room.
With a sigh I laid on the table, arching my back slightly at the feel of the cool metal. I closed my eyes, only to snap them open again when the images assaulted my vision once again. Absentmindedly I rubbed my arm where the healing patch was firmly in place. It was quite likely that I was going to have a small scar because the burn was pretty bad, but I would live. Unlike the others.
With a shiver I sat up again, hugging my knees to my chest. I had never felt so alone in my life. It was amazing how much could change in three short days. I had walked into Dun's office ready to accept my bizzare fate. I wasn't sure how I felt about the thought of being flung back in time in order to save all of humanity, or at least some of humanity, but I did know that I wanted to help out any way that I could.
Dun had sat me down and told me that I was going to be sent to an extremely secret base at the docks. There was a research and development facility there that had been working on an extremely important project. A few years back some scientists in Japan had figured out a way to send things back in time. Everyone was excited about the process and then someone had stepped in and killed the entire team that had developed it. Everyone except for one researcher who hadn't come in to work that day. He had managed to avoid death and had ended up with the Organisation, rebuilding his project for us. It was still far from perfect, but it had been developed enough that it was fairly safe to send people back in time. That is what I was going to be doing - heading back to a time over a hundred years into the past. Whether I was to find someone and bring that person back here, or if the problem could be solved in the past was something that Dun didn't know yet, but he assured me that it would all be explained to me at the facility.
I nodded like I had any idea what he was talking about, but I was completely lost. Everything he had said sounded too fantastic to be true. We lapsed into a silence as I tried to come to grips with what he had told me.
"Don't worry Caz," said Dun. "Everything is going to be all right."
I felt a little weirded out when he said that. Did he not believe it either? Before I could press the matter Dun's intercom squawcked to life. "Dun, the pick up team is here."
Noticeably paling the large man rose to his feet and headed out to where the computer terminals were set up. I moved to follow him, but was held up by a young man in a scraggly coat. "Got an urgent package for mister Dun," he said, smiling nervously. Shoving the package into my hands he ran back down the hall, quickly disappearing out of sight.
Something didn't feel quite right about this. Very few packages were sent to our office, and they usually went through much more official channels. I started out to the computer lab, but paused. As much to ward off the paranoia that was building in my chest as anything I turned and slid the package across the office where it stopped under his desk. With the door safely behind me I headed to where Dun and Dar were having an intense discussion in hushed tones, a surefire bad sign.
Seeing my approach, Dun waved me closer. "Dar is telling me that the transport crew is here, but that makes them four hours early. Plus their security codes are old. I don't like this." A slight sheen of sweat seemed to add gravitas to his words. His eyes flickered towards the entrance and then back to me. Why?
"Speaking of weird," I said, my words coming slowly, "some new kid just handed me a package for you. Any idea what that might be?"
Dar looked up sharply at this. "We've had no packages come in the official channels or any of the unofficial channels in the past forty-eight hours." His fingers flying swiftly across the interface he called up the security protocols. "Something's going on, Dun. We need to shut this down, now." His finger hovered over the command to secure the facility.
Dun shook his head. "No, we can't afford that. We have to get Caz out of here. This is our only opportunity. We just don't have the time."
I was watching the feed from outside the door where three men had been leaning casually, waiting patiently for the door to be opened. They chose this moment to stand up straight and dof their tattered garments, revealing the uniforms of a M.E.R.C. squad. Before I had a chance to call out a warning Dun's office erupted into flame.
We were all flung to the floor, the heat washing over us in waves. Emergency klaxons cut in accompanied by red emergency lights. Two more explosions happened in short order, one from the outside as the M.E.R.C. soldiers blasted their way inside and one from further inside the base, cutting all power to the building, instantly plunging the room into utter darkness. A moment later the
emergency lights came back on, providing flashing illumination to the room.
I dove behind a desk and watched in horror as Dun rose to his feet, only to be cut down by the troops, a surprised look on his face. Dar pulled out a knife and threw it, catching one of the soldiers in the neck. He went down in a heap, the floor becoming slick with his blood. The other two fired back at Dar, missing with their initial volley. The computer tech dove behind a table. I could see him with his back against his cover, and he noticed me. He smiled a cocky smile and motioned for me to leave. A second later a flash of light dazzled my eyes and when I could see again Dar was sitting in the same position, but his face was burned beyond all recognition. He screamed in pain, a sound that I could still hear three days later while sitting on the examination table.
Somehow I managed to ignore the shock of what was happening and concentrate on my own survival. One of the M.E.R.C.s looked down at a display of some sort. Given what I had learned in the past day I figured that they were looking for me and that somehow that little gizmo they were holding would lead them straight to me. Thinking quickly I spied a computer monitor sitting on the floor beside me. I grabbed it and waited.
The two guys started moving slowly towards me, their guns drawn. I listened to their footsteps coming closer, waiting for the right moment. Just before they were on top of my I popped up and threw the monitor right in the face of the nearest soldier, immediately following my throw with a dive towards the other man. I drew my knife from my wrist holster and drove it up under his ribs. He died with a shocked look on his face. As he fell to the ground I grabbed his gun and whirled around, firing until the gun was empty. All of the soldiers were on the ground, dead, but so was everyone else.
Or so I thought. A sound drew my attention. Somehow Dar was still alive, and he was weakly pointing at me. I went closer, kneeling in front of him. His face looked even worse close up, and the smell of burnt flesh turned my stomach. "Take this key." His voice was nearly inaudible. A small key was in his hand and he pressed it into mine with a surprising strength. "It opens a locker at the docks. Take the globe inside, it will help you." The strength left his hand and it dropped heavily to the floor. "There will be back up," he wheezed. "Go now!" Hearing his last breath was quite possibly the worst sound I have every heard.
The rattle of the door opening drew me back to the present. A doctor walked inside carrying a bundle of clothing and closed the door. "Good news," she said cheerfully. "You are fit and able to go. Here are your clothes, I will be waiting outside." With that she exited the room.
As I dressed a shiver ran up my spine. Dar's death hadn't even been the worst part of the whole matter. The package hadn't seemed to concern Dun at all. He shouldn't have ignored it, yet he did. And despite my best efforts, I couldn't shake the thought that he had flinched a second before the bomb exploded. If that were true, it meant that I could no longer trust anyone. I was truly alone in the world. And possibly alone in time as well.

Another long ramble. But I refuse to apologise!

Earlier this week I was at Safeway, picking up a few things (EGGNOG SEASON IS HERE!!) and I noticed something that, well, I'm not sure what significance to place on it.
As I was paying a woman got into line behind me. She was wearing a nearly scandalously short skirt, knee high boots and a white shirt. Her outfit was one that most would describe as 'sexy' (or skanky depending on your point of view, I suppose). On my way out of the store I noticed another woman. She was dressed in a pair of jeans (they were black), a green sweater and she had a scarf thrown around her neck, as much for fashion as for function I suppose. It was a very conservative outfit.
What got my attention was my reaction to each of these girls. The first girl, um, got my blood flowing. She was definitely attractive, and if I were a different guy I probably would have tried hitting on her. She looked like the kind of girl with whom I would enjoy a one night stand. And that is as far as my thoughts/feelings went on that particular woman. I paid and left and that was that.
The other girl, however, caused a different reaction. I saw her and was immediately curious. I wondered about what kind of food she might be buying, what her tastes were, what she would like and dislike. I had all sorts of questions about her and was interested in knowing who she was. She seemed like the kind of person that I would take home to my parents. Also, she wore glasses and I am constantly amazed at how good glasses usually look on girls (especially compared to how goofy looking I am with glasses)(and without, come to think of it).
So why the different assumptions? If I had to talk about their personalities without knowing anything more about them than I do, I would say that the first girl is a bit of a mean girl, maybe not hugely, but enough to be annoying. She would be uncharitable to others and very self-centred. She would know that she looks good and use that to manipulate others. She would also be completely uninterested in anything worthwhile, more into partying and drinking than being even remotely concerned with the world around her.
The other girl, on the other hand, is a nice girl, willing to help out others. She likes to have fun, but that doesn't necessarily mean getting wasted and screwing everything on two legs. She has plenty of friends, but is willing to meet new people. Sometimes she gets too busy because she has trouble saying no to anyone in need. She doesn't care what Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, or Brittany Spears are doing at any given point, but the whole Middle East thing is a concern to her.
All of that based on about two seconds of observation (not even interaction) on my part. I have the immediate physical reaction to the first girl and an immediate intellectual response to the second girl. The question is why?
Am I a product of the culture? Is my reaction based purely on how women are portrayed in popular media? Would it be a sociological reason? I don't really have an answer to that question. That doesn't really concern me too much, to be honest. It is enough for me to know that my reactions were fairly typical for most guys (though my actual responses might differ from many).
Here is what interests me. There are many women who would be upset to know that just because the one girl was dressed in stereotypically 'sexy' clothes that I had such a reaction and that many men would more overtly 'leer' and ogle. They would find it deplorable, or at the very least annoying. Even the girls who dress like that often seem to be tired of the reactions they get.
That leads me to wonder why women dress like that at all? And more than that, who is to blame for the guy's reaction to such dress? It is not exactly a secret as to how men will react to certain images and styles, so when a woman dresses like that, does she then lose her right to be upset at guys ogling her? If she didn't want that reaction, then she surely shouldn't dress that way. And then the question of those who get mad at guys for ogling other women dressed like that, even when they themselves aren't dressed like that. Should they be upset at the guys or at the girls? And how much blame should guys get for their actions. We really are a gender that is ruled by our eyes and our testosterone. Can we help it if we react to a woman?
Okay, some answers. First, if a woman doesn't want to be leered at, then she shouldn't dress in overly tight or short outfits. Guys will stare, they just will. Not all guys, but most. Dressing provocatively is the woman's choice. There are many ways to be stylin' without being 'sexy' (or skanky). Women who get upset with their guys need to relax, a little. Guys are going to notice, especially when a woman is dressed to evoke a reaction. That doesn't mean he is a bad guy or that he doesn't like you. It's like getting pricked with a pin. Your first reaction is to jerk your hand away, and often to say 'ow' or something. That doesn't mean you are actually hurt or that there is any long lasting problem. It is simply a physical reaction that occurs without thought. Also, I don't think it is necessary to get upset at scantily clad women. They likely are dressed that way because they like the reactions and attention they are getting. They aren't unaware of how people will react. They aren't deluded into thinking that they will be ignored, and they also aren't (generally) out to steal anyone's boyfriend or husband or anything. If you want to be upset about it, be upset with society in general for portraying these images as the norm. More on the later.
This section is directed to the guys. It is okay to notice an attractive woman. It is NOT okay to ogle. The difference between the two is different for each guy, and probably different for each situation. But noticing is normal. The only way not to notice pretty girls is to not look at anyone. Ever. So when a pretty girl goes by, it is okay to have noticed that she was pretty. However, if you start staring at her, then you are going overboard. Honestly, the best course of action many times is to just look away. You don't have to make a point of it by stopping what you are doing and looking at the ceiling until the temptation has passed. Just focus on something else. Also, if you are at a mall (or somewhere) and you are specifically on the lookout for attractive women, I think that is a bad idea. Especially if you are married. That goes from noticing to seeking out, and that is an area where bad things start to happen.
Really, I think it would be best if society in general would stop focussing on stupid things like looks and fashion. I like the Dove soap ad campaign right now, their Campaign for Real Beauty. Physical attributes only go so far, and when their importance is taken too far then people start to get seriously hurt, and that is no good for anyone. If society in general could wrap their heads around that, I think the world would be a better place. Heck, if we could get Hollywood in general to wrap their heads around that it would be a miracle, but freaking awesome!
Now a caveat (or perhaps two). I have heard the arguement that when a woman gets raped, if she was dressed provacatively then she doesn't really have a right to complain. Now this arguement more applies to the college-date-rape type of rape where two people are together and things start to heat up a little and the guy then doesn't stop even if the girl wants him to stop, as opposed to the kidnapping and raping. But as far as I am concerned, that is a terrible arguement because, if for no other reason, then it says that a guy's actions aren't his responsibility, but the responsibility of those around him. Guys, let me make this abundantly clear - YOUR ACTIONS ARE ALL ON YOU! You cannot say that she provoked you into taking advantage of her because she was wearing a really short skirt. If that is true, then you are no better than the dog that goes around humping everything on two, four, or zero legs. And when a dog becomes problematic like that, then he is 'fixed'. Do you want to be 'fixed'? I didn't think so.
I bring that up because I think it is possible to take some of my above arguements and extend them to that conclusion, and I just want to be clear that I have ABSOLUTELY no intention for that to be taken from my post.
Wow, all of this because I wanted some eggnogg.

Irritant #6,588

EVERYTIME A PHONE RINGS OR A DOORBELL, um, TOLLS ON A TV SHOW I THINK THAT IT IS MY PHONE OR DOOR!!!!!! I spend alot of time very confused and conflicted.

Battle of the TV stars

I enjoy the show Alias, but I think the makers of the show were lazy. As near as I can figure they only filmed enough footage for a thirty minute show and just extended it for an hour by making everything slow motion. I don't think I've seen a show that uses so many slo-mo shots in my life. I don't think I've seen an episode that didn't have a slow motion shot, usually of Sydney (Jennifer Garner), but pretty much every character has been used. I am actually quite amused by it.
After watching two straight seasons of 24, some parts of Alias look a little weird. In 24 everything happens within a very short time period, so it was weird to see a scene followed by a scene of the same character across the Atlantic, a journey of 10-20 hours depending on various travel arrangements. Even in shorter scenes where it is obvious that at least two minutes have passed between cuts (a guy is at the bottom of stairs and then he is at the top of the stairs) was a bit jolting for much of the first episode. Both are good shows, but I think Jack Bauer could kick Sidney Bristow's butt. It would be a tough fight, but Bauer is clinically insane, and Sidney actually still cares. It'd be a good fight, though. Until Jack shoots her.
And I'm gone for a week.

Some mysteries are easier than others

My left foot is colder than my right foot
I don't know what that means.

I went to a philosopher
He asked if I was sure it was my foot
He asked if I was sure it was cold
He asked if I was sure I was me
I decided to try somewhere else

I went to a doctor
He told me it could be any number of causes
I might have poor circulation
Maybe I had high cholesterol
Or perhaps it was a heart attack
Was the foot tingling, or just cold
I didn't think he could help me

I went to an athlete
He told me to take the cold
One foot at a time
To walk it off
And to have my feet continue to working together
Like a team
I think he had taken too many hits without a helmet
If you know what I mean

I went to an economist
He tried to buy my foot
To leverage its gains against the current market
To make its value increase
I didn't know what he was talking about
But it wasn't helping my foot
So I left

I went to a lawyer
He tried to sue me for asking him the wrong question
He tried to sue my foot for being cold
He tried to sue himself for frivilous law suits
And then he bribed a judge to sentence me to time served
I walked away a free man
But I still had on cold foot

I went to a televangelist
He said that if I believed
(and sent him all of my money)
That he would ask God to heal my foot
(as soon as the cheque cleared)
My Son!
I wondered why God needed my money to warm my foot
I left with my money and a still cold foot

Finally I sat on my bed and despaired
Until I looked down
Hey look, I'm only wearing one sock
I grabbed another sock
And put it on
Now my feet are warm.